


Letters From Nowhere

by Rena



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-13
Updated: 2012-04-13
Packaged: 2017-11-03 14:04:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 33,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/382132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rena/pseuds/Rena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mysterious letter at the front door, with no indication who might have sent it. And if Alec wants to find that person, he has to solve the puzzle laid-out for him...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. #390 Letters from nowhere

**Author's Note:**

> The prompts (and thus the chapter titles) are being taken from the LJ community 500_themes.

It was on a perfectly normal seeming day that Alec Lightwood's life changed forever.

As so often, he was woken up by the faint first rays of sunlight peeking through the dark curtains, dimly illuminating the room. Knowing it was still far too early to actually stand up, he groaned and turned around to bury his head in the pillows, thinking, as he did nearly every day, that it might be wise to ask his parents for some actual blinds. It wasn't like they couldn't afford it or anything, he just mostly forgot about it altogether once he descended the stairs, which was entirely Jace and Isabelle's fault.

His siblings had the tendency to get themselves (and Alec along with it, usually) into trouble, so he mostly had more important matters on his mind. Like making sure Izzy didn't burn down the kitchen trying to make a toast (which happened every morning – not to mention that she also did that with every meal they had, which meant Alec had to play fire-fighter at least three times a day). Or like saving Jace's ass whenever he insulted someone with his foul mouth (which happened on a five-minute basis) and try to make sure he did not get into fights. Or like yanking Max away from his books so that he wouldn't forget to eat.

He had actually managed to remember asking his parents once, but they seemed to have forgotten about it. That didn't come as a surprise. Maryse and Robert Lightwood were hardly ever at home, but instead flying all over the world for business, and if they happened to be in New York for a week, they locked themselves in their offices before sunrise and only came out shortly before midnight. This left Alec, being the oldest of their children, to take care of his siblings. Which was fine, mostly, but sometimes Alec felt rather like a kindergarten worker than like an eighteen year old teenager going to high school.

He knew it was time to actually get out of bed when he heard something clatter in the kitchen. It was better to not even let Izzy begin with what she wanted to do. He jumped out of bed, skidded down the stairs and reached the kitchen just in time to preclude his sister from putting a metal can into the microwave.

"Not that one, Iz," he said as he pulled the can from her grasp.

Isabelle blinked at him, confused. "I thought it was 'no plastic in the microwave'?" she asked.

"Nope." Alec precautionary put the can out of her reach. "It's 'Don't put metal into the microwave, _ever'._ Unless, of course, you want to blow it up."

"Oops," she said, completely unapologetic. "I'll remember that in the future."

"Of course you will," Alec smiled and made a mental note to either remove everything metallic from the house or fiddle with the microwave, even if it was something as small as pulling the plug – knowing his sister, he reckoned that she wouldn't check that and just assume that it was broken.

Jace strolled into the room, still looking somewhat dishevelled. "Morning," he mumbled, and made a beeline to the coffee machine.

"Good morning," Isabelle chirped. "So, I was thinking about making omelettes..."

"Dear God save me now!" Jace groaned.

"What? Don't you like my omelettes?"

"I'm not partial to food poisoning, thank you very much," Jace replied nonchalantly, ducked to avoid the spatula Izzy had thrown at him and grabbed a yoghurt from the fridge. "But I'm sure Alec would love to have an omelette," he added, a wicked grin on his face.

"I – uh, I'm not really hungry," Alec stammered.

His sister threw him a dirty look. "Liar," she said, but she didn't seem to be angry.

The good thing about Izzy was that she knew she was a horrendous cook, and that she wasn't resentful when someone refused to eat whatever ingredients she had mixed together to create a usually unidentifiable goop. The bad thing was that she tried anyway. Alec suspected that she, being the only girl in the family, thought it was her duty to be some kind of surrogate mother to them, at which she usually failed miserably, unless one of her siblings got threatened or hurt; in that case, she developed a remarkable resemblance to lionesses protecting her offspring."Well then, I guess I'll just order something from the café down the road."

"Great," Jace, who was halfway through his second yoghurt, piped up. "I'll have two cheese sandwiches and a blueberry muffin."

"You're a chowhound," Isabelle said, crunching her nose in disgust.

"I'm still growing. I need to eat."

"If you go on like that, you'll be a fatso in no time," she snorted.

"Nah," Jace grinned, patting his stomach. "I'm not a girl. I've got a great metabolism."

Isabelle huffed and shuffled out of the room to get the phone. "The usual, Alec?" she called from the hall while already typing in the number.

"Yes, please," he called back. "And don't forget to get something for Max, too."

"Of course not. What kind of sister do you think I – oh, hello, this is Isabelle Lightwood..."

Alec tuned her out and turned his attention towards his brother. "You look tired," he observed. "Didn't get a lot of sleep?"

"Nu-uh." Jace was grinning again, but this time there was slightly dreamy glint in his eyes. "I was over at Clary's."

 _Figure_ s, Alec thought. His brother (adopted brother, to be precise, but neither of them gave any thought to that anymore – Jace had been living with them for six years now, and Alec had long since come to think of him as a brother) was always at his girlfriend's house lately. It was a miracle: Jace had never been one for serious relationships. He had preferred casual flings and hopping from one girlfriend to the next. When he'd met Clary, a small red-headed girl who didn't fit into his predatory pattern at all, this had changed. From what Alec could tell Jace was completely head-over-heels in love, and although he didn't like the girl all that much, he had to admit that she had a nice, calming influence on his brother. He was also considerably nicer and far less sarcastic since they'd hooked up, which saved Alec a lot of work trying to prevent Iz and other people from strangling him, so Alec gave her some reluctant sympathy points for that.

"I think I'm going to puke," Izzy, who had re-entered the kitchen and had heard the last sentence, announced. "Seriously, I'm already expecting you to start drooling every second. It's disgusting."

"That's just sour grapes," Jace countered. "It's not my fault you haven't been getting any for a while."

"Just for your information, I had a date with a nice snogging session yesterday, but I still don't run around like a brainless idiot with a dorky smile plastered on my face."

Jace gasped. "Wait, you had a date? With whom?"

"None of your business," she snapped.

"Why so bitchy?" Jace asked, smirking. "Was the snogging so bad?"

Isabelle looked as if she wanted to throw something at him again. "Jace," Alec cut in, "shut up." The last thing he wanted was for them to start wrestling on the floor and making a mess out of the kitchen because he knew he'd be the one to clean up afterwards.

"Why? I tell you guys about my relationship, too!"

"Yeah, but the difference is that you do so unsolicited. It's not like we actually _want_ to know all these details," Alec rolled his eyes.

"Touché," Jace huffed, "but you'll tell us if it gets serious, right? Just so that Alec and I can threaten the guy."

Izzy rolled her eyes, too, exasperated. "You're so original."

"I'm pretty sure that if any guy dared to hurt Isabelle, she'd be perfectly able to break his neck herself," Alec pointed out. The doorbell rang, and he pushed himself from the counter. "I'll answer that. Try not to kill each other while I'm gone."

He trudged to the front door, not caring that he was still in his pyjamas. The delivery staff had seen him like that plenty of times, and he just couldn't be bothered to get dressed first anymore. Opening the door, he greeted Jim with a tight smile, handed him the cash and received the package of food. He was just about to kick the door shut when something caught his eye.

There, on the first step, lay a white envelope.

 _Strange_ , Alec mused, _the mail never comes before eleven. And why did someone put it on the doorstep?_ Frowning, he bent down to pick the letter up and examined it. No return address. As he turned the envelope around to look who it was for, he found that there was no addressee noted either, nor was there a stamp or a postmark. Nothing. It was heavy, though, and carefully closed, so he figured the envelope actually contained something.

As the sound of his siblings' voices resounded through the hall, constantly growing louder, Alec shrugged and stuffed the letter into his pocket. He could check who it was destined for later, but first, he had to separate Izzy and Jace.

Luckily, they weren't at each other's throats, just arguing about something Alec didn't even want to know. "Guys, tone it down. Max is still sleeping. Plus, it's not like the entire neighbourhood is interested in your catfights."

His words didn't really have the desired effect, but the bag in his hand did. Immediately, Jace ripped it out of his hands and searched for his breakfast as if he hadn't gotten anything to eat in weeks. "So," Jace began as he happily munched his first sandwich, "Alec. Since we've all had our little confessions now, it's your turn. Spill. How's your love life?"

Alec almost choked on his sandwich.

"Still nonexistent, huh?" Jace frowned. "Seriously, man, you need to find yourself a girl."

"I have a full-time job babying the two of you. How the hell am I supposed to find the time for a girlfriend?" Alec retorted once he had recovered from his coughing attack.

"You could use the time you spend locked into your room, sticking your nose into books," his brother suggested, smirking. "Come on, it can't be that hard. The girls are swooning over you, too. I just don't understand why you don't ask any of them out. You haven't had a girlfriend in ages. Wait, have you _ever_ had a girlfriend at all?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Alec said, hoping that the burn in the tip of his ears didn't mean they were turning read (which they probably were). "Of course I've had a girlfriend."

"Yeah, Aline Penhallow in fifth grade, for, like, two days," Jace scoffed. "That doesn't count. Now, you're eighteen and you haven't kissed a girl in...what, eight years? How do you even do that? Aren't you horny sometimes?"

"Leave him alone, Jace," Isabelle cut in, "not everyone can be a manwhore like you." She sent Alec a worried glace, which he chose to ignore, although he was grateful for her intervention. It probably wouldn't deter Jace for long (he was constantly bugging Alec about his love life), but at least it gave him some time to breathe.

Alec knew that his brother only wanted the best for him, but quite frankly, he just wished he'd let it go already. He really didn't want a girlfriend. Not because he didn't have hormones, or because he didn't want to be with anyone, just because he didn't want a _girl_ friend. He knew he should just tell Jace that he wasn't interested in girls at all, but he didn't think he'd ever gather up the courage to do that. Izzy was the only one he had told that he was gay, mostly because it seemed that she'd known that already, and because he had known she would be okay with it. Jace, on the other hand, he wasn't so sure about. Also, it would be extra awkward, because Alec had had a crush on him for years that he'd only recently overcome, and now _that_ was something he never ever wanted his brother to find out.

"Hey, earth to Alec!"

"Huh?" Alec was ripped from his train of thought. "Sorry, I zoned out."

"See?" Jace said. "I _told_ you no guy could stand sexual deprivation for that long."

"Shut up, Jace. Not everyone's mind is constantly in the gutter," Alec remarked. "I wasn't thinking about that."

"Oh, good," Jace quipped, "because it would be kind of awkward to see my brother developing a boner on the breakfast table."

"You're insufferable," Alec determined.

Jace grinned. "I know. I'm doing my best."

"Asshat."

"Love you too, bro."

" _Boys!"_ Isabelle shook her head in disbelief and then turned towards her older brother. "I was asking whether you were coming tonight. There's a party at Sebastian's and-"

"And you could finally hook up with some cute girl," Jace interrupted, but was tragically ignored.

"-and everyone's coming," she finished her sentence, throwing Jace a death-glare that would have intimidated everyone else. Alas, since Jace was Jace, it had no effect on him in the slightest. "Please?"

Alec grimaced. "I hate parties."

"Pretty please?"

"Someone has to look after Max."

"Max will be sleeping by the time we leave, and he can very well do that alone," Jace countered.

Alec groaned. "I'll think about it." He pushed his chair back and stood. "I'll have a shower now, before you guys can use up all the hot water. And clean up after yourselves for once, will you? I'm not your charwoman."

"Yes, dad," Jace joked.

Rolling his eyes, Alec turned and ascended the stairs. He was glad it was Saturday, which meant he had a day of doing nothing in particular ahead of him. No stress, no rush, no nothing. It seemed it would turn out to be a nice day, too, so maybe he could lay outside and read a little in order to lift his mood and thus make this party more appealing to him. The thing was, he knew he'd _have_ to go, even if he didn't want to, just to make sure his siblings didn't get completely wasted. Sighing, he entered his room, pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it on the bed. He was about to accord his pants the same treatment when he heard the sound of paper crinkling.

_Oh._

Thanks to Jace's taunts, he'd forgotten about the strange letter completely. Alec pulled it out of his pocket and, since he still couldn't find any indicator as to who this was meant for, carefully opened it. Inside were some sheets of thick paper that rather reminded Alec of parchment. Tentatively, he unfolded the letter. The handwriting was neat and elegant – and not familiar at all.

_Hello there,_

_I am aware that this letter might come as a surprise to you, and I can only hope that I did not scare you off in any way. I can imagine it must seem strange to receive a letter from someone you do not even know (and I also know that right now, you are wondering whether this letter is for you at all – do not worry, it is – and no, I am not the delivery man, just in case you were wondering) Please continue reading anyway. I promise you won't regret it._

_You must understand, though, that I cannot reveal myself just yet. I will, one day, I can promise you that, but only if you want me to, of course. If you want to know who I am, you will have to earn it. So if you are up to it, I suggest we play a little game that will tell you something about me and at the same time help me getting to know you a little bit better._

_There is another letter waiting for you at a place that is special to you – I am sure you will know where to search for it. I give you three days to find the letter and follow the instructions set down in it. However, if you don't want to take the challenge and haven't picked up the letter after the designated time, I will assume that you would prefer it if I didn't bother you anymore, and you won't hear from me again._

_Let the game begin._

_Yours truly._


	2. #176 Tempting Enigma

His shower turned out to be a lot more rushed than Alec had planned earlier. He was out of the bathroom after five minutes (which had to be a new speed record, even for him), his hair only half dried, and quickly threw on some fresh clothes. Alec grabbed his bag from the chair in the corner, ripped the door open and skipped down the stairs.

The first hint wasn't all that hard to understand. His favourite place was the library, so if whoever had sent this letter really knew this, it was where the next letter should be hidden. _Easy._ _Almost_ _too_ _easy._

He stopped for a moment to consider what he was doing, or rather, _why_ he was doing this. No, really, just what had gotten into him there?

Alec didn't usually like surprises or mysteries. He was quite happy with sticking to the routine, going through the motions of everyday life, and enjoying quiet moments. Actually reacting to something so utterly _weird_ like this letter from nowhere was more of a Jace or Izzy thing to do. _Reckless._ Alec shook his head in disbelief. Maybe his siblings were rubbing off on him. Or maybe he was going insane. He didn't know who had sent this letter. He didn't even know what that person wanted. For all he knew, it might be a creepy stalker.

The rational part of his brain told him to stop right here and there, stay home and forget about it altogether.

Another, smaller part of his brain seemed to be excited. No, not only excited, but almost _exhilarated_. There was something strangely intriguing about this entire ordeal, and Alec really wanted to find out what it was and, most importantly, who the sender was. All in all, this was way more interesting than worrying about the party his siblings wanted to take him to. It was even more interesting than reading _Anna Karenina_ for the fourth time.

So he told the rational part of his brain to shut the hell up for once, and hurried down the corridor, almost knocking over his sister in the process.

"Hey, where are going?" she called after him.

"Uh- library," Alec called over his shoulder. He didn't like lying, so this way his siblings would at least know where to find him in case there was an emergency.

"But you only went there yesterday!"

 _Dang_.

"Forgot to return a book!" Alec shouted, glad that he was already halfway out the door and Isabelle couldn't see his face. It gave him away every time. "Have to hurry. Will be back soon!"

"But-"

Alec didn't wait for her to finish the sentence. The front door slammed shut and he quickly walked down the driveway, leaving his home behind and taking the fastest route to the public library. It was a walk he took at least once or twice a week, so he knew it by heart. He could have walked there with his eyes closed without taking a wrong turn. But while he usually took his time getting there, enjoying a bit of fresh air (as fresh as the air in New York City every was, that is), he basically jogged all the way this time and thus made it to the building in record time.

It was only when he had entered the ground floor that something occurred to him – the tiniest problem:

The library was _huge._

How the hell was he supposed to find one single letter in there?

"Oh, hello Alexander, dear. I didn't expect to see you again this soon."

Alec turned around to face Abigail, one of the librarians. She was a small, chubby, middle-aged woman with glasses that always reminded him of Harry Potter and a soft spot for oat cakes and pinkish costumes that made him cringe every time he saw them, possibly because these clothes made him thing of Dolores Umbridge. Come to think of it, Alec was pretty sure she was a cat person, too. However, she was also really kind, if a bit nosy and meddlesome. For the biggest part, Alec liked her well enough, mostly because she allowed him to smuggle coffee and cookies into the library.

"Oh. Well, I forgot something yesterday," Alec hastened to reply, using the same excuse he'd already told Isabelle.

She frowned. "Nothing valuable, I hope? You didn't lose your purse, did youß"

"No, no. No, there was just...something I wanted to check and...well, forgot." Realising that he didn't sound all too convincing, he added, "and there was this book that I wanted to loan..."

That one seemed to work. Abigail laughed. "Didn't you just loan five yesterday?"

Alec smiled sheepishly. "Well, yeah..."

"I've never met a bookworm like you," the woman said, shaking her head. "How you can read so many books in so little time is beyond me. Now tell me, dear, is Mr Starkweather not coming here anymore? I haven't seen him for an awfully long time."

Oh yes, that was another striking thing about Abigail. She'd had a huge crush on Hodge Starkweather since _forever._ To Alec, it was just another thing he didn't understand about this woman. Hodge had never shown any interest in her (in fact, Alec wasn't even sure whether he'd ever acknowledged her existence at all), and yet she wouldn't stop fawning over him. He didn't know why – it wasn't that he didn't like Hodge, and he certainly didn't mean to be mean, but his tutor wasn't exactly what you would call a good looking man. Also, Alec was sure he was completely asexual. He lived for his books and plants only, and for the history lessons he'd afflicted the Lightwood children with since they were toddlers. He was also largely responsible for Alec's obsession with books – it had been Hodge who had given him his first books to read, Hodge who had told him that books were something special because they contained the knowledge of the entire world, Hodge who had taken him to the library for the first time – and that was something Alec was infinitely grateful for.

He hoped, however, that Jace's prediction that one day, he'd turn out to be exactly like Hodge, would prove to be false.

Abigail was still looking at him expectantly, reminding him that he had yet to answer her question. "Oh, he has been very busy with his private library, I think, but I'm sure he'll stop by as soon as possible," he said politely. "Would you like me to pass on your greetings?"

She blushed slightly. "That would be very kind of you, dear."

"You're welcome. Now, if you don't mind, I'll –"

"Of course, of course, go on, I don't want to keep you. Oh, wait! Alexander, would you do me a favour and take these with you to sort them in?" she gestured towards a pile of books. "I'd take them myself, but I don't think I can carry them to the far end of the library – you know, my backaches..."

"Sure."

"You're such a nice boy, Alexander," Abigail patted his shoulder with such a solemn expression on her face that Alec had troubles to not burst out laughing. "You know where they go, right?"

Alec quickly checked the pile. All of them were classics that he himself had read at least once or twice, so he had at least a vague idea of where they should stand. He nodded, tucked the books under his arm and quickly made his way into the aisles, finding the designated places in record time. Maybe it was true that he knew his way around here almost better than the employees – but that still didn't help him at all with the really important matter at hand.

It was only when he put the last of the books back onto the shelf that something occurred to him. _If the person who sent me that letter knew my favourite place was the library, then maybe that person knows about my book preferences as well,_ Alec mused. That would narrow down the options. He didn't necessarily have a favourite book (he could never decide – there were just too many he liked), but he guessed searching the books he had recently borrowed and already returned might be a good start. Alec just grabbed the nearest book he could remember having read during the last two weeks and opened it.

Nothing.

Alec sighed. _Oh well,_ he thought, _finding the letter in the first book I could think of would have been sheer luck anyway._

_  
_

* * *

 

Half an hour later, he was still searching through the books, and no wiser.

This was becoming increasingly frustrating. He had searched almost all the books he had recently read and had found nothing at all. He'd also moved on to flip through some of his favourites, but that hadn't helped either. Slowly but surely he was beginning to wonder whether this was all just a stupid prank. Maybe it had even been Iz and Jace, trying to see whether he'd fall for it. But the handwriting hadn't been familiar, right?

_But they could have asked someone whose handwriting I don't know to write this down._

Slightly irritated, Alec slammed the book shut and pulled out the letter. The examination didn't provide him with any important revelations, either, except for affirming his conviction that he didn't know who had written it and leaving him feel incredibly dumb.

"Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid," he murmured angrily. "This is all just ridiculous anyway."

He folded it again and was about to shove it back into the pocket of his jeans none too gently when he saw it: a small scribble at the back of the parchment.

Alec frowned. That hadn't been there before, had it? How could he not have seen it?

Sliding his hand over the letter to uncrinkle it, he lifted it to his eyes and read.

 

_Since I grew tired of the chase_

_And search, I learned to find_

_  
_

Alec blinked. It was a quote – he was _sure_ he had heard that before. He racked his brain trying to remember where he had read it. Wasn't that a line of a poem? Oh, yes! "Since I grew tired of the chase and search, I learned to find; and since the wind blows in my face, I sail with every wind," he mumbled. Yes, that was it. Nietzsche.

A sudden grin spread over Alec's face and he rushed to the aisle where he knew he would find author beginning with 'N'. Now _that_ was some information that would facilitate and narrow down his search. If he was right, he'd only have to look through Nietzsche's books now and he'd find the second letter.

However, when he stood in front of the shelf, he knew immediately in which the letter would be hidden. And he vowed that, if his sister was behind this, he'd kill her, no matter how much he loved her.

 _The Gay Science_.

Alec grimaced. Whoever had written the letter possessed, if he knew about him, a very weird sense of humour. Of course he knew that at that time, 'gay' had only meant 'happy', but he could only assume that the writer was trying to hint at his preferences. Which was even more disconcerting if one considered that Izzy was the only person who knew. Or at least, that was how it should be, and he trusted his sister not to tell anyone – she'd kept the secret, well, a _secret_ for two years now, even hiding it from Jace. This, in Alec's opinion, left three possibilities:

a) Isabelle had sent the letter, dictating it to someone

b) It meant nothing at all, was just a coincidence and he didn't have to worry about it

c) Someone, who was possibly stalking him, had figured it out and was telling Alec that he knew by hiding the second letter in this book. Maybe as a kind of threat. Maybe because the sender was a guy who was also homosexual.

The third option was probably the most likely one.

_Wonderful._

Well, he could always turn back, couldn't he? Pretend this never happened and he hadn't just spent almost one hour searching for one stupid letter. Pretend he had ignored it altogether in the first place, that he hadn't been interested in this strange game at all. Hope that the writer would keep his promise and never bother him again.

But the truth was, he didn't want to do that.

Sighing, Alec pulled the book from the shelf. It wasn't exactly a thick volume, and obviously very old and tattered, yet at the same time, it was evident that this was not the kind of book to be borrowed often; there was a thin layer of dust covering it, and it looked like it hadn't been touched in a while.

He didn't even have to open the book – the letter slipped out from between the pages immediately. Alec caught it with ease, slipped it in his back pocket, put the book back and slipped out of the library. He didn't want to read the letter at a public place. Then again, he also didn't want to read it at home, where his siblings could barge into his room any second. Therefore, he decided to make a detour through the Central Park.

Since it was a nice and sunny day, there were more people walking around than usual, but he still managed to find a deserted spot near one of the bridges. He sat down on the ground, his back leaning against a tree, and pulled out the envelope.

Again, there was neither an addressee nor an addresser, just a stark white, heavy and carefully sealed envelope. Alec ripped it open and took out the sheets of parchments inside.

 

.

 

_Congratulations, you have hereby passed the first test. Wasn't so hard, now, was it?_

_Firstly, I shall answer some questions that you are sure to have. You are probably wondering how I knew your favourite place was the library – no, I am not a stalker, in case you were assuming that. I have merely seen you around many a times. Deducing your book tastes from that wasn't so difficult, either- one doesn't have to be particularly observant to notice in which corners you usually lurk around. Incidentally, my preferences in book are quite similar._

_There, now you already know two things about me: I like books, mostly the same ones you do. And yes, you have seen me before (I am, however, not one to be counted amongst your friends)._

_I hope that particularly the second matter will help you feel a little bit more at ease with this game. People tend to trust persons more easily once they've seen them._

_To make sure you don't feel uncomfortable, I suppose we should better stick to more general, 'small-talk-like' topics. Music, for example. Since I already know about your tastes in books, this would be the natural follow-up discussion. I promised you would find out something about me, so here it goes: while I do enjoy all kinds of music, I mostly listen to classic rock and pop music. My favourite bands are probably Led Zeppelin and Muse._

_To find the second letter, I will assign you two tasks. Firstly, I want you to tell me about the music you listen to – just write me a note and put it into the book you found this letter in. Once you've done so, I want you to think a bit about rock music and important magazines about it. This piece of information might already suffice to find out where the next letter will be placed. Be aware, though, that I will only put it there for you to find after you have completed the first task. As long as I haven't received your answer, you won't get a new letter, either._

_(Yes, I will check the library daily. No, it's no use lying in the wait for me in the library. I'm too sneaky for that)._

_Yours truly._


	3. #232 Mystery

Alec stared at the letter for what seemed like hours, trying to sort out his thoughts that were swirling woozily in his mind. He had no idea what he was supposed to do. He wasn't even sure what he was supposed to _think._

Somehow, the letter seemed to have stirred up more questions than it had provided answers, something that annoyed Alec to no end. He hated unsolved problems and unanswered questions. Most of all, he hated it when it seemed like the answers was _right before his eyes_ and he _just couldn't see it._ And that was exactly how he felt right now.

" _Yes, you have seen me before."_

He knew the person who had sent these letters. He freaking _knew_ him. Or her. Or whatever. Dear God, Alec hoped it was a guy. Otherwise this would turn out to be quite awkward, if he had to turn someone down after all this. How would he do that? What the hell would he say then? " _Um, yeah, your interest is really flattering, and I was really interested and played this game till the very end, but um, somehow you're not exactly my type...and...yeah, I'm sorry, I guess I'll go then, see you around?"_ Not that that couldn't happen with a guy, either, but still, he'd really hate to have to face some girl who would then most likely burst into tears and...God, this was crazy. Even if the person was a guy the moment he'd first come face to face with him would probably be awkward as hell. And what if he saw him and it turned out to be someone from his school that he really disliked? Or someone from his school at all? That would be awful.

For some reason, the thought that he actually knew the sender made Alec feel worse – there was a knot forming in his stomach, a feeling of dread tightly clutching his guts. Considering that the first letter had shown up on his doorstep, it was quite likely that the sender attended his school and therefore knew his name and address. And now, what if he turned that person down and that person outed him in revenge? He would lose everything. All the troubles he'd gone through to keep his sexuality a secret would have been in vain.

And what if he ended up liking that person, if it was a guy – what would he do _then?_ Dating another boy would definitely blow his cover, too.

Alec groaned and buried his head in his hands.

The worst thing was that he was _really_ curious now. It was something he hadn't expected – the sudden rush of euphoria when he'd found the letter, the excitement while reading it, and now that almost desperate feeling of need to solve the mystery of the letters. He wanted to know who the person sending these letters was. He wanted to know whether they had talked to each other before. He wanted to find out more about him (or her).

He wanted _this_ to continue, Alec realised with some surprise. The game. He had always liked puzzles and quizzes and games that required you to use your mind. It was _fun_ and new and different and he kind of liked it, even though he still had some doubts and couldn't quite shake off the uneasy feelings coming over him.

"Where is your rationality when you need it?" he grumbled under his breath and silently cursed this somewhat reckless side of him that had chosen to surface at such an inopportune moment. Really – where had this boldness been all his life? And couldn't it just have stayed there instead of getting him into trouble now?

Then again – rationality was a good start for everything and it wasn't like it had completely abandoned him. Doing what he was best at, Alec listed the facts in his mind, mentally sorted them into pros and cons.

 

Pros: Fun (not so sure whether that is actually a valid reason). Interesting. Person seems to really like me, otherwise he/she wouldn't put that much effort into it. Seems to be a considerate person and nice enough to give me a choice whether I want to do this or not. Likes books, too (same ones I like). Similar tastes in music. Not a total stranger. Apparently not a prank.

 

Cons: Stranger (possibly stalker?). Maybe dangerous. Not even sure whether it's a boy or a girl. Risk of outing. Reckless. Stupid. Time-consuming. Also, considering that this is real life and not a romance novel, only slim chances of actually meeting someone I might like.

 

Contemplating his mental list, Alec was well aware that the point listed as 'cons' were far more important than the 'pros'. Logically, there was no reason at all as to why he should ever consider continuing this. But the thing was –

He wanted to.

Maybe it was, as Jace suggested, because teenagers could only go so long without a boyfriend or girlfriend before going on hormonal overdrive that shut their brains down. Maybe this was an effect of puberty, a sudden urge to be a teenager for once before he actually had to grow up and be responsible and well-adapted and everything. He'd never really had the chance to be a real teenager – but that was what it was for, wasn't it? For trying new things and pushing boundaries and making mistakes, for falling and getting up again.

Or maybe it was the realisation that he didn't want to look back one day and say 'I wish I would have taken the chance when I could'.

The thing was, he knew he might regret it later. But if he didn't, he would definitely spend a long time regretting that he hadn't done it, and wondering how things would have turned out if he hadn't been a chicken-hearted stick-in-the-mud all the time.

With sudden determination, Alec opened his bag, rummaged for a pen and a piece of paper and, when he had found both, began to write, just letting the words flow out of him.

 

.

 

_Hello to you, too._

_Truth be told, I'm still not sure whether I should be writing this. I'm not even sure whether I should even be_ _ thinking _ _about writing this. Hands down, I still know as good as nothing about you. Whoever you are, you definitely have some advantage over me. You know who I am. You seem to know all kinds of things about me already, while I don't even know whether you are a boy or a girl._

_I don't know what you expect of me, either, or where this will lead to. What do you hope to achieve with this? I can't say that, so far, I haven't enjoyed this game, but I don't know where I stand at all. Judging from your previous comments, I suppose you won't answer all of my questions, but I'd like it if you could at least give me some clues. You might or might not know this, but I'm not a person who likes to be left completely in the dark. I find it quite disconcerting, most of the time. So if you want to increase the chances of me continuing this 'game', as you call it, you should enlighten me at least a little._

_You asked about my favourite music, and I think it's safe to say that, again, our tastes more or less match. Personally, I have to admit that pop music doesn't do anything for me (which is extra annoying when my little sister insists I accompany her to some concerts because she isn't allowed to go on her own), and I downright hate techno (mostly because my brother likes to listen to it on full blast – really, it is only a matter of time until the windows in his room burst), but I am quite a big fan of rock music, along with the occasional classical piece of music. Muse can definitely be counted amongst my favourite bands, too, although I haven't had the chance to see them live yet._

_That's honestly all I can think of right now. I guess I'll just keep looking for the next letter._

_Bye,_

_Alec._

_  
_

_._

_  
_

He reread the letter twice, until he was sure he was satisfied with it. It felt somewhat formal at times, but then again, it wasn't like someone could expect him to be completely at ease with this from the start. A polite, yet somewhat distanced tone might be good. He had had no idea what to write at first, but in the end, he felt like it had come out alright. And hopefully the stranger would answer his questions. If not (or if the answers didn't please him), he could still break it off.

Alec got up, dusted off his jeans and stretched, feeling his vertebrae pop back into place. His back was sore from cowering on the hard ground for that long. He took a look at his watch and cursed. Three and a half hours had passed since he had left the house. His siblings would be worried – if Izzy hadn't burnt down the house yet, that was.

He turned around and dashed off.

 

* * *

 

After a quick detour to the library to deposit his letter (he didn't want to have to wait till Monday to do that, after all), Alec rushed home as fast as he could, threw himself against the front door and stumbled in.

Izzy, who was standing in the hallway, whirled around in surprise. "Alec" she exclaimed. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Library," he replied shortly, still trying to catch his breath.

"You wanted to return _one book_ ," Izzy said, accentuating the last words. "You were gone for three frickin hours, and you didn't once answer your phone! Can you possibly imagine how worried I was?"

Alec blinked. "You called me?"

"Only a hundred times." Jace came strolling down the stairs, his timing, as always, impeccable when it came to arguments and fights – he'd always be the first one to show up and try to get a word in. There was nothing he enjoyed more than an opportunity to annoy the hell out of his siblings, or embarrass them. He didn't seem to be all that worried, probably because he figured that his brother was old enough to spend some time outside alone without it ending in a catastrophe. "Seriously, though, what took you so long?"

"I didn't hear it," he apologized, "I put the alert on silence, like always when I'm in the library."

Jace scoffed. "You didn't answer my question. Don't think I'm letting you out of this so easily. What was in the library that was so interesting that it made you stay for so long? Met anyone special?" he asked, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Isabelle, whose anger seemed to have evaporated a little, giggled.

Alec didn't need to feel the heat rising up his cheeks to know he was blushing. "No," he said curtly. "I helped Abigail sort back some books." Well, technically that wasn't a lie. It was just not what he had been doing _all_ the time.

Jace snorted. "You know, somehow I'd hoped for better."

"Better what?" Alec asked, bewildered.

"A better date." Jace grinned. "Man, you could do better than Abigail."

Alec coloured even further. "I didn't-"

"Okay," said Jace, shrugging nonchalantly. "A better excuse, then."

"I didn't-"

This time, he was interrupted by Izzy's squeals. "Oh my God!"

Alec and Jace both jumped. "What?" Alec asked, but his sister had already flung herself at him and hugged him with so much force that she squeezed all his breath out of him.

"My baby brother is growing up," she said, still painfully high-pitched. "Our fledgling is growing wings and taking flight. I didn't think I'd live to see that day."

Mildly horrified, Alec gently pried her off him. "I'm not your baby brother," he protested weakly, while Jace looked like he couldn't decide whether he should just be completely taken aback or whether he should double over with laughter. "And I really didn't see anyone."

"Sure, bro," Jace, who seemed to have overcome his shock, deadpanned, "and I still believe in Santa Clause. But I get it, you don't wanna talk about it. Fine then. We'll find out one way or the other," he added, grinning wickedly, "of course that means you can just spill the beans now..."

Alec tried to find some clever retort, but by now his sister was practically bouncing up and down in front of him in delight, which was rather distracting. "Oh Alec, I'm so happy for you. Come on, give us some teeny-weeny details, will you? Wait – do I know that person? Will she be at the party tonight?"

"No, no and no. At least not that I know of," he conceded.

"Aaaaaand, bam," Jace announced gleefully. "There you go."

"Excuse me?" Alec asked, bewildered.

"You just admitted that there is someone," Iz grinned and patted his head when he scowled at her. "Don't worry, everyone falls for that. It's an old girls' trick – talk so fast and ask so many questions that they don't even realise they are talking about someone or something they didn't want to talk about."

"I hate you," Alec declared.

"Don't take it to heart too much, man," Jace gave him a sympathetic clap on the shoulder as he moved past, presumably to get to the kitchen to get even more food. "She gets me with that every time, too. Happens to the best of us."

As soon as he had disappeared, Izzy turned to look at Alec expectantly. "Well," she said. "Don't I get any details?"

"No way in hell," Alec determined. "There is nothing to tell anyway."

His sister frowned and scrunched up her nose – her way of letting him know that she knew he was lying. Luckily, though, she decided to let it go for the moment when she sensed his unwillingness to admit to anything. "Okay," she said slowly, "but you know you can tell me anything, right?"

"I know," Alec sighed, wanting nothing more than to disappear into his room and get some quiet for once.

Isabelle surprised him again, then, by winding her arms around him again and pressing him close to her. "I love you."

He blinked a few times, taken aback by her sudden outburst and, most of all, by the sincerity of her statement. His sister wasn't exactly the type of person to go around declaring her love to anyone spontaneously, and neither was he. In fact, Alec couldn't even remember when they had last told each other they loved them in a serious manner. It just wasn't something they talked about – it was clear to all of them, something they never questioned or needed to debate. They (the three of them, no, the four of them, really, even Max, although he was too young to participate in most of their activities) were a team, not sticking together like glue but always sticking up for one another.

It was nice, Alec thought, to hear it spoken out like this, but he didn't quite know how to react. He hugged her back somewhat awkwardly and, when she detached herself from him, asked with a frown, "You're not just trying to get me to accompany you to the party tonight, are you?"

Isabelle smiled brilliantly, and just like that, the moment was gone and everything was back to normal. "Maybe," she admitted. "If I promise not to bother you to let me dress you up, will you come?"

Sighing, Alec pushed his hair out of his eyes. "Sure," he muttered, defeated.

Thankfully, this time she refrained from squealing and suffocating him with her hug. She just grinned happily. "Cool."

Alec rolled his eyes and turned to get to his room. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs, turning around once more when a thought crossed his mind. "Iz?" he asked hesitantly. "You wouldn't happen to know something about a magazine on rock music, would you?"

She blinked. "Well, the biggest magazine on rock music is the _Rolling Stone_..."

"Is that one located in New York?"

"I think so."

"Thanks." Alec gave her a quick smile and started up the stairs.


	4. #82 In the still of the night

This was exactly why Alexander Lightwood hated parties.

He had been inside Sebastian's house for a grand total of ten minutes and already had a headache the size of Siberia. The music was blasting out of the speakers, the bass causing the glasses and the dishes in the glass cabinet in the front hall to clink and making any conversation impossible. He'd already been almost-knocked-over by three extremely drunk teenagers and had managed to lose his siblings in the crowd. The only good thing he could say about this party so far was that nobody had thrown up on him yet.

In terms of the general high-school-students' opinion, he guessed, the party was a success. People were laughing and dancing and getting drunk and making-out, just like it was portrayed in those stupid chick flicks that Isabelle often tried to force him to watch (it made him suspect that maybe Iz had always wanted a sister, and that Alec being gay had raised her hope of getting at least half a sister or something – one could imagine her despair when Alec still refused to go shopping with her). Apparently, Sebastian's was the place to be tonight – Alec could have sworn the entire school was present, having the time of their lives.

To Alec, it was hell.

Fully aware that it would be no use to search for his siblings – Jace was by now probably attached to Clary's mouth for the rest of the night, and Isabelle had presumably gone to work the dance floor or, possibly, make out with her newest conquest, with whom she would have most likely broken up by the end of the evening – Alec slowly made his way through the crowd, looking for a more private, reclusive and, most of all, quiet spot.

Personally, he had never understood the appeal of parties anyway, much less their whole purpose. The others always said it was the best way to socialise, but to him, that was just bullshit. No one had decent conversation or really got to know someone when the only way you could converse was by shouting into the other's ear. Well, maybe other people did, but the truth was, Alec wasn't exactly the most popular guy in school. He wasn't counted amongst the losers, either, but he didn't have many friends – and he was okay with that. He didn't need a lot of friends; he was completely content with his siblings' company. But this _was_ one of the reasons why he didn't enjoy parties like other teenagers did, he guessed.

Mostly, these parties were about making out, getting thoroughly pissed or dancing. But Alec didn't dance, because he had always hated it. He didn't get drunk, because he was the one who had to stay sober in order to give his siblings a ride home without driving them into the nearest building. And he most certainly didn't make out with anyone, because he didn't want to kiss any girls and, being in the closet, he could hardly kiss any guys, either. Not to mention that he would have had to be very drunk to kiss someone he didn't really know in the first place. So there really wasn't much to do for him except for waiting until his siblings got bored and wanted to go home and, as always, he wished he hadn't let them drag him here.

In the end, he ended up in the kitchen, which was as far away from the speakers as he could get and, while not exactly private (there were too many people walking in and out to get their drinks) at least minimized the danger of waking up with a tinnitus in the morning. Alec let himself slump on one of the kitchen chairs and buried his head in his arms, trying to tune out the drunken yells and giggles and wishing himself far, far away.

Someone slid on the bank next to him and gently nudged his shoulder. "My, aren't you the epitome of happiness," a vaguely familiar voice said sarcastically. "Cheer up, lad, it doesn't help to wallow in your misery."

Alec looked up and raised an eyebrow at Maia Roberts, a curvy girl with honey-coloured skin and brown hair tamed into tiny braids. He didn't know much about her, aside from the fact that she, like Isabelle, was a sophomore and was quite badass. "You don't look so happy yourself," he remarked, after taking a look at her and the scowl on her face.

"Well, yeah," she shrugged. "That might have something to do with your sister engaging in a heated lip-lock with Simon although he wanted to come here with me and, to top it off, my ex showing up."

Alec blinked and leaned back. "Simon Lewis?"

"Yup." Maia took a deep gulp of her beer.

"Now that's interesting. He's not exactly her type."

"You don't know who your sister is dating?" Maia seemed to be surprised. "I thought you were, like, the protective older brother type."

Alec shrugged. "I try, but it's not that easy to keep track her list of boyfriends. I gave up bothering to learn their names when she went out with three different guys in one week, once. And I taught her how to defend herself, so she should be fine."

"Huh," Maia said, and just like that, silence fell between them again, while the girl was busy glaring daggers into the direction of the dance floor and Alec tried to fight the urge to get up and leave. It was kind of nice to have company, though, he had to admit, even when they weren't talking. When Maia had first sat beside him, he had been scared for a moment that she might be the sender and was trying to get closer to him, but if her chagrin caused by Simon Lewis hooking up with his sister was anything to go by, she wasn't, and he was safe.

"So," after a good five minutes of silence, Maia put down her beer and looked at him, "what's you reason for hiding in the kitchen?"

"I'm not hiding," said Alec, slightly annoyed, "I just don't like parties very much."

"Why come here, then?"

"My siblings need a ride. And _someone_ has to make sure they don't get into any trouble."

Maia snorted. "Good luck with that."

Alec smiled despite himself. "Thanks. I might need it."

Wordlessly, she offered her bottle to him, but he quickly shook his head. "I don't drink when I drive."

"You should," she said, rolling her eyes, "it's the only thing that makes these parties endurable. And your house is only, like, one block away from here. You could always walk. Or get a cab. And, you know, one beer won't kill you."

This time, when Maia held the bottle out to him, he didn't refuse. It tasted just as disgusting as he remembered. He'd never been a fan of beer – and from what he could tell, it was spiked with some stronger liquor as well. _Wow,_ he thought wryly, _look at that, I'm turning into an irresponsible rebel in one day. Maybe I'm hitting puberty with some delay._ They repeated the exchange several times, passing the bottle between them in silence and taking sips by turns, until a slight dizziness seemed to cloud Alec's mind. It certainly made the music more endurable, he conceded.

Suddenly, Maia said, "The guy over there has been staring at you for the last, like, ten minutes," and Alec sat up straight, his entire body tensing. He followed her gaze with his eyes and almost gasped. The boy was very tall, leaning casually against one of the walls and definitely observing them. In the flashing lights, it was hard to make out the features, but when he squinted his eyes he recognized the crazy, spiked-up hair.

He knew that guy.

Realisation hit Alec like a brick wall, and he tried his hardest to not freak out.

"He's probably looking at you," he said in a weak attempt to distract himself, which, thanks to his strangled voice, didn't sound very convincing, but the boy chose exactly that moment to flash a wide, mesmerizing grin and wink at him before he disappeared into the crowd. Alec swallowed and hoped Maia hadn't seen.

"Definitely not." Of course she had seen. That was just his luck. "Hey, are you okay? You look pretty pale."

"Yeah, I just feel a bit...queasy," he replied weakly. "Probably the alcohol. I think I should go...get some fresh air. I don't want to puke all over your boots or anything."

Maia grinned as he got up. "What, you're already drunk? If you need help getting downstairs 'cause you're swaying too much, just call me and I'll help you out."

"Uh, thanks, but I think I'll be fine." In fact, Alec didn't feel drunk anymore. He felt surprisingly sober, as if someone had poured a bucket of cold water over his head.

She waved lazily. "See ya."

Alec elbowed his way through the guests as quickly as possible and was glad when he finally reached the front door. Once outside, he fell back against the solid brick wall and took several deep breaths, enjoying the mild air of a summer night. The air helped him gather his thoughts and calm down. So this guy had been looking at him. And so he had seen him at the library before, a couple of weeks ago. He remembered their brief conversation about Shakespeare and antique books quite well. And now this boy was turning up at a party.

Maybe Alec really had a stalker.

Or maybe he was just being paranoid.

The longer the thought about it, the more convinced he was of the second option. Really, what were the chances of a man he'd only spoken to once beginning to stalk him and showing up at a party to see Alec, when he couldn't possibly have known that Alec would be here? He'd probably just been invited by someone. And he'd probably only looked at Alec because he had remembered him, too. And the wink certainly didn't mean anything – at least it was no indication that this guy had sent the letter.

Not that Alec would have minded if he should turn out to be. He had enjoyed their conversation and the boy was very good-looking, or hot, rather and – _Whoa, Alec, stop right here!_ _What the hell?_ Maybe the alcohol had a bigger effect on him than he had anticipated or had at least not yet worn off. Alec shook his head. He couldn't _believe_ he had just thought that. Secretly, he vowed to never touch a drop of alcohol again.

At this moment, the front door flew open and the boy walked out, his arm around the waist of a giggling and staggering life-sized Barbie, who seemed unwilling to leave the party. Alec quickly took a step back, into the shadows, but it wouldn't have been necessary; both of them were too occupied with each other to notice him.

"But Magnus," she whined, her speech slurred, "I don't wanna go just yet. I promised Sebastian a drinking contest."

She stumbled again, falling against him and the boy's – Magnus's – grip on her tightened as she looked up at him with big, pleading eyes. He chuckled. "I don't think that will be necessary, Camille. Everyone knows you could kick his ass anytime. And I really think you've had enough for tonight, love."

"I'm not drunk!" she protested, pouting.

"Of course not, darling," he said patronisingly, the way you agreed with little children that came up with the weirdest fantasies or, well, the way Alec talked to Jace when the latter was thoroughly wasted and told him the craziest stories about pink moose and singing coconuts. "Now come with me, we'll go home. And try not to puke in my car again, will you?"

Silently, Alec watched them walk down the road to where a dark car was parked, Magnus practically carrying his blonde companion while her laughter and flirtatious remarks resounded through the night until their voices faded away, drowned out by the music still blasting inside, trying to suppress the feeling of bitterness and disappointment that crept over him. Absentmindedly, he wondered what the hell was wrong with him exactly. Only ten minutes ago, he had been inwardly freaking out about the boy's look and how he may or may not be his stalker and wishing that he wasn't. And now he felt jealous of that girl glued to his side and the only coherent thought he was able to process was that he hoped she wasn't his girlfriend – though, judging from her behaviour and his use of endearments, she was. It was ridiculous, really, especially since he couldn't even claim he actually knew the boy aside from their five-minute chat and he had neither a right nor a reason to be jealous of anyone or anything.

The excitement he had felt earlier this day had evaporated completely, somehow, and although nothing had really happened, he felt as if this night couldn't have gone any worse. Suddenly, all he wanted to was get home and lie down in his warm bed and sulk and be gloomy and miserable.

Glowering, Alec pushed himself off the wall with the full intention to only get into the house to find Isabelle and Jace and convince them to leave as soon as possible.

 

* * *

 

He spent the biggest part of the following day buried in his room, rather unsuccessfully trying to push every thought about Magnus or the mysterious letters as far out of his mind as possible. Luckily, neither Izzy nor Jace bothered him – in fact, he was sure they were both still a bit angry about him forcing them to go home that early without giving them an explanation. Also, it was always a good thing to avoid the two of them the day after a party, since they were usually hung over and consequently in a very bad mood, and Alec didn't feel like he'd be able to handle their bitchiness right now.

As the hours dragged by, he became more and more frustrated; there was nothing to do on Sundays, since he had already finished all his homework on Friday. He had tried reading, which was what he'd normally do, only to find that he couldn't concentrate at all. He'd turned on the radio, then had turned it off again after a couple of minutes because that didn't help, either. Mostly, he was annoyed with himself for getting that worked up about something as insignificant as a random guy taking home an equally random, drunk girl. He was still unsure where that had come from; he was, however, pretty sure that he didn't want to find out. Apparently, there were sides of him that he himself didn't know about and he had rather it stayed that way.

It was kind of disconcerting, really, how much he felt like these stupid letters had turned his life upside down already. It had only been a day, and he was already not acting like himself anymore. He wasn't even _thinking_ like himself anymore and quite frankly, he hated it. Of course, he didn't exactly ooze with confidence and a high self-esteem, but he had _liked_ who he was so far. He had liked his role of the protective, caring older brother, the reliable and responsible student and the reclusive, quiet bookworm. That was his life, and he had been perfectly content with it. And now all this, his small little world that he was so familiar with, was getting all mixed up and he was changing.

Or maybe he wasn't changing at all – maybe these sides had always been there, and he had just suppressed them all this time. The possibility was there, too, but not reassuring either. He didn't know whether he wanted to change, or find out what he was capable of. What if he didn't like what he found?

"Oh, shut up already," he told himself angrily.

Realising that staying inside, pacing up and down inside his room and turning the questions over in his mind wasn't the smartest thing to do, Alec sighed and grabbed his jacket. There was a small chance that the letter he had hidden in the library had been found yesterday already, so maybe the next letter was waiting for him somewhere. It couldn't hurt to search for it, after all; at least he'd keep himself occupied.

Before he walked out, he shoved the small piece of paper on which he'd scribbled down the address he'd looked up last night, when sleep had been eluding him, into his pocket.

1290 Avenue of the Americans.

 _Okay_ , he thought, _let's see what the Rolling Stone magazine has in store for me._


	5. #78 Frantic search

Alexander Lightwood was at a loss.

This turned out to be even worse than the library search.

No really. Staring up at the multi-storey building that was 1290 Avenue of the Americans, where, according to his internet research, the _Rolling Stone Magazine_ was located, he couldn't help but wonder how he should find anything here. After all, it wasn't like he could just enter the building and ask, or something like that. They probably wouldn't even let him in the office. And, of course, it was Sunday, so no one was working there today anyway.

Alec sighed. "This is _crazy_ ," he uttered, earning a half-confused, half-irritated glance from a woman passing-by, who seemed to think that if someone was talking to himself it would be best to send them to therapy. And, quite frankly, Alec was almost inclined to agree with her. If this went on like that, he'd lose all his nerves, and possibly his hair, too. Then he'd be a bold man at eighteen, locked in a mental institution. That wasn't exactly an alluring prospect.

"Are you lost?"

He hadn't noticed the woman had stopped until she addressed him, and it took him a few seconds to realise she had spoken to him, still looking at him with a worried frown on her forehead. Feeling that accursed blush rising up into his cheeks, he cleared his throat. "Um, no thanks, I'm fine. I'm just...looking for something," he added when she didn't seem to be convinced. That seemed to do the job – she shrugged and stalked off, leaving Alec to his contemplations.

Maybe he was looking at the problem the wrong way. Maybe this wasn't about the _Rolling Stone_ at all. Or maybe it was, but he wasn't supposed to be looking for editorial department. But what then? Was he supposed to buy a copy of the newest issue? Fat lot of good that would do – the chances of finding the letter in the copy he bought were smaller than the chance to win the lottery. Or was this just supposed to lead him to the next clue?

There were a thousand possibilities, and he could turn and twist it whatever way he wanted to, he just couldn't find a definite plausible solution. Also, there was still a chance that the next letter wasn't hidden yet, if the sender hadn't gotten the opportunity to pick up Alec's letter in the library. Alec groaned and ran his fingers through his hair. He really oughtn't to get overly excited about this. He felt a bit as if he was seven again, waiting impatiently for Christmas or his birthday to come around and Izzy dragging him along as she turned the entire house upside down frantically searching for their presents once she'd found out that Santa Clause didn't exist and it were actually her parents' who bought them the gifts because she didn't want to wait until Christmas Eve.

Sighing, he pulled out the last letter, just to check it for the hints again. _Think a bit about rock music and important magazines about it._ "Yeah," he murmured, "'cause that's working really well and all." He folded the paper once and then stopped short. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me," he cursed quietly, staring at the dark ink on the back side and feeling somewhat stupid. Next time, he vowed, he would have a look at the flipside before he set out to begin his search. That would probably save him quite some trouble, and, most of all, time.

 

 

_No town can fail of beauty,_

_though its walks were gutters and its houses hovels,_

_if venerable trees make magnificent colonnades_

_along its streets_

 

_  
_

Alec blinked at the sentence written neatly in the corner. _Okay_ , he thought, _so...trees. What do trees have to do with music, or a rock music magazine, except that the latter is printed on paper made of trees?_

Convinced that this he wasn't at the right place for his search now, Alec turned around to go home and mull over this a little longer, but he had only taken two steps when a thought crossed his mind: there was a tree at the other side of the road, opposite of the building he had been standing in front of the whole time. It was probably an idiotic idea, but it was worth a try, right? After all, he was already here.

Quickly, he crossed the street, thankful that there was a little less traffic than usual today. Taking a scrutinizing look at the treetop, he saw something wide flash between all the green leaves, right were the tree trunk divided into the main branches.

Alec shook his head. This was unbelievable. And he'd make a complete fool out of him trying to get the envelope, that was for sure. Was it even allowed to climb the trees flanking the streets? Supposedly not. Oh boy.

There was a notch in the bark, just big enough to fit his foot in and just at the level he would need to gain enough height to grab the letter. Alec looked up and down the street. There were still plenty of people moving along (this was New York, after all, the city that never slept – even on Sundays there were plenty of people in the streets), but maybe, if he just was fast enough, no one would notice. He waited a little longer, till a large group of people had passed, and then quickly put his foot in the notch, using it to push himself up, hastily grabbed for the letter and let himself fall back again.

All in all, the action hadn't taken him longer than five seconds. Some people were giving him weird looks, but Alec found that he didn't care all that much. He was too busy fighting the bright grin that was slowly making its way onto his face as he looked down on his latest acquisition. _Oh, get a grip on yourself, Lightwood_ , he admonished himself, trying to hide his excitement, and carefully put the envelope into the back pocket of his jeans. He wouldn't read it until he got home where he could lock himself into his room and have some privacy.

Suddenly, someone slammed into him with full force, and sent Alec stumbling forwards. The only thing that kept him from toppling forward was a steady hand gripping onto his shoulder with quite some force.

"Oops," Magnus said, contrite and out of breath, "Sorry about that. I wasn't looking where I was going."

Wait – Magnus?

Alec blinked, but the scenery in front of him stayed the same. Magnus was staring down at him, concern clear on his face and his hand staying on his shoulder a little longer than strictly necessary. He looked very different from the night before, not so...sparkly. His hair was still up in spikes, but this time there were no obscene amounts of glitter covering his skin. The only make-up he wore was black eyeliner, which made his eyes seem ever greener than usually. He looked fairly normal, yet Alec still couldn't help but think that he was breathtakingly gorgeous.

"Are you alright, Alec?"

"Um- yeah," he replied once he'd found his voice. Then he frowned. "Wait, you know my name?"

"Of course. We met in the library a couple of weeks ago, remember?" Magnus asked, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to remember the name of every single person you ever met, even if you had only talked for two minutes. "And I was at the party yesterday."

"Of course I remember," said Alec. "I didn't know you knew Sebastian," he added, just to say something.

"Oh, I don't," Magnus retorted, smiling slyly. "But Camille does, and I accompanied her. Couldn't let her go alone, now, could I?" He tilted his head to the side. "You didn't look like you were enjoying yourself," he remarked.

Alec shrugged helplessly. "I'm not the party type."

Magnus's grin widened. "If you've only ever been to parties like the one yesterday, then that's understandable. You should come to one of _my_ parties sometime. Even you'd like them, I promise." Then he abruptly changed the topic. "So, what were you doing here, if you don't mind me asking?"

Inwardly praying that Magnus hadn't seen him climbing up seemingly random trees in the middle of Manhattan and somewhat wishing for a ground in the hole to open up and swallow him immediately if he had, he said non-committally, "Nothing special."

If Magnus had seen him, he let it slide. "Wanna go grab some coffee?" he asked, gesturing towards the café just a few feet away down the road. "It's the least I can do for almost knocking you over."

"Um, that's really not necessary," Alec mumbled, looking anywhere but at Magnus.

"I insist," Magnus said, raising one eyebrow. "Unless you have somewhere else to be..."

"No, no," Alec replied hastily, feeling more and more like an idiot with every second that passed. Magnus didn't seem to mind, though.

"Great," he grinned. "Let's go, then. I'm dying for some caffeine."

Still a bit dumbfounded, Alec followed him into the Starbucks, not exactly sure what the hell was going on. Magnus really wouldn't have had to invite him for some coffee – after all, nothing had happened. And they hardly knew each other at all. Also, Alec doubted he'd invited him because of his great (or rather, pretty much nonexistent) conversation skills. He wasn't that interesting to talk to. So what did Magnus want?

 _Stop being paranoid,_ Alec told himself sternly. _He's got a_ _girlfriend._ _He's probably just being really nice. Or something._

They managed to snatch the last free table at the window, Alec ordering some simple black coffee and gaining an amused look from Magnus, as if he had expected nothing else, and Magnus getting something with a name so long that Alec wondered how he could even remember it. A strangely comfortable silence fell between them as they sipped at their beverages, until Magnus decided to speak up again.

"So," he said casually, leaning back on his chair. "How's the antique book front doing? Found any new – or old – interesting books?"

"Not really," Alec shrugged. "These were all books I'd read before."

Magnus looked faintly amused. "Do you ever read books that aren't older than a hundred years?"

Alec raised his eyebrows. "Tell me about some good ones and I might," he challenged. "So, yes, I do. It's just hard to find well-written stuff."

"I agree. Then again, I'm sure there were crappy books in earlier centuries as well, they have just been forgotten," Magnus grinned. "But I'll take that challenge. If you don't like the books I recommend, you can always get back to reading Jane Austen. At least these books are _old_."

Alec was surprised. "You remember that?" he asked. He didn't know what he had expected, but truth be told, he had not expected Magnus to remember his name, much less details of their conversation, like that he had never read Jane Austen's books before.

Magnus grin lit up his entire face. "I have the most magnificent memory."

"And you're so humble," Alec teased.

Magnus laughed. "Naturally. Humility is my forte, next to book recs and being overall amazing."

"Fine then," Alec replied, unable to suppress his smile, "shoot ahead."

"Okay." Magnus rested his chin on his intertwined hands and gave contemplated him. "I guess you'll go for the novel-like stuff with the hard-to-digest topics. In that case...'The Book Thief' by Markus Zusak. 'The God of small things' my Arundhati Roy. 'The remains of the day' by Kazuo Ishiguro. 'House of the spirits' by Isabel Allende. 'The shadow of the wind' by Carlos Ruiz Zafón. 'To kill a mockingbird' by Harper Lee. 'One Day' by David Nicholls. 'The unbearable lightness of being' by Milan Kundera. And then there's-"

"Whoa, okay." Alec held his hands up to stop Magnus rattling down his list. "I get your point."

"Do you?" Magnus cocked one eyebrow again. "Want me to write them down?"

Alec shrugged. "Why not?"

Magnus's eyes shifted to the clock hanging on the wall, and he bolted. "Shit," he cursed under his breath and grabbed his jacket, "I've got to fly - I'm already running late. Will you be in the library some time this week?"

"Uh- yeah," Alec said, thrown by the abrupt departure, "Tuesday, most likely."

"Great," Magnus flashed him a quick smile, "I'll see you there." And then he was gone faster than lightning, leaving Alec to stare after him dumbfounded and wondering where the hell Magnus could possibly have to be on a Sunday afternoon and just what exactly this had been. The questions made him feel as if his head was going to explode, so he decided to ponder this later. For now, he had something else to do.

He drained the remainder of his coffee and quickly made his way back home.

Luckily, he managed to sneak into the house unnoticed – Alec really didn't feel like answering all the annoying questions that Jace and Izzy were sure to pester him with should they find out that he had been going out again to meet his secret lover, or whatever they assumed he was doing. As soon as he had entered his room, he shut the door, turned the key just for good measure (especially Isabelle had the tendency to burst into his room unannounced, and Jace also didn't bother to knock often) and flopped back onto the bed, making himself comfortable.

 

.

 

_Hello dear,_

_I can hardly express how delighted I was when finding that you had answered, and so soon! Now I can only hope that you found this letter just as quickly, before the weather could possibly throw a monkey wrench in my plans (I will have to admit that a spot outside, where it is unsheltered from the rain, might be a problem) – and also, I am already anticipating your answer._

_It is understandable, of course, that you should have questions, and I shall answer them as elaborate as I can without revealing too much while lessening the advantage I have, as you pointed out quite correctly, over you and dispel your doubts. Your first question concerned my gender, and I am not hesitant to tell you that I am male._

_As for your inquiry what I expect from you, I must say that this isn't as easily answered, because a lot of that depends on you. The only thing I definitely do want to achieve is getting to know you – the rest is yours to decide. I won't pressure you to commit to something you aren't comfortable with. If you just want to be friend, that's fine. If it should turn out that you, as I hope you will, would like me to be more than a friend, I would be extremely happy – but, as I said before, I won't force you to do anything. If you want me out of your life, just say so; while it would make me very sad, I would do as you ask. This might be my game and I set the rules, but only as long as you want to play, and you decide how far you want to go._

_In your letter, you also mentioned your family. Although I had intended to stick to less personal topic at the beginning, I have to admit that I am very curious now. Tell me something about your family – do you have more siblings than the one sister and brother you wrote about?_

_I wish I could tell you something interesting about my family, but unfortunately there isn't much to tell. I am an only child and both my parents are long dead – but this is a story I will only tell you later, when we are better acquainted. For now, all you must know is that I live alone (unless you count my cat, that has been a loyal companion for many years) and am quite content with it._

_Now you will probably want to know where you can find my next letter. Again, you will only find it once I have received your reply (I suppose it would be the most convenient for you to place it in the library again). I will only tell you this: although I love the city, I am also quite fond of nature and quieter places. Think about an island in the East River, and some charming ruins that are now open to the public._

_Yours truly._

_  
_


	6. #3 Flashes of Euphoria

By the time Jace passed by his room and knocked on the door with so much force that Alec was sure it would come off its hinges, telling him that their "Chinese take-out was there and he should get his fucking lazy ass out of bed already, it wasn't like _he_ had been the one with a hangover", Alec had already reread the letter several times and had the distinct suspicion that he had a stupid smile on his face whose root and reason he couldn't quite explain.

As weird as it was, it was also cute, and Alec found it increasingly hard to shake off the excitement. And the more letters he received, the more he was looking forward to the next one. The more he found out, the more he wanted to actually _know_ about the sender.

But this wasn't the time for reveries. He quickly jumped off the bed and opened the door before Jace could make firewood out of it.

"Since when do you lock the door?" Jace asked, his expression a mixture of curiosity, bewilderment and suspicion.

"Since I got fed up with you, Izzy and Max bursting into my room unannounced," Alec replied. "It's about time you all learned some manners."

Jace scoffed. "Oh please. Manners are for wimps."

Deciding it would be wiser not to comment on this and evoke a discussion with Jace that he was sure to lose, Alec merely rolled his eyes and started down the stairs. Isabelle and Max were in the kitchen, along with Clary, who seemed to have brought the take-out with her. He wasn't surprised to see her here – in fact, sometimes it seemed that Jace and Clary had been glued together at the hip, considering the amount of time they spent together. She often brought her best friend, Simon, along too, but this time he was missing, which surprised Alec. He knew that Jace didn't approve of him hanging out with them all the time (although the jealousy had evaporated once Simon had started to worship the very ground Isabelle stood on – really, Alec thought, he shouldn't have been surprised when Maia told him the news yesterday; the only thing that surprised him was that Izzy was actually giving him a chance), but that had never stopped him from coming before.

"How come Simon's not here?" Alec asked, grabbing his box of pork.

Isabelle blinked. "Why would he be here?" she said cautiously.

Alec looked pointedly at his sister. "You tell me."

Izzy's eyes widened and she nearly spilled some water over her dress, but recovered quickly and threw him a glare that would have scared anyone else off.

Jace, in the meantime, looked bewildered at the exchange, as if they were speaking Zulu. Then it clicked in his head. "What the fuck?" he hollered. "Simon? Simon Lewis is dating my sister? I didn't know this! How do I not know this? I didn't find _that_ juicy piece of information last night."

"Obviously," Alec deadpanned, "since the only place you were looking for it was Clary's mouth."

The girl in question flushed immediately, her cheeks taking on a colour that resembled her fiery-red hair. Isabelle's expression was blank for all of two seconds, before she started roaring with laughter. Max looked up from the comic he was reading, but, when no one made any attempt to explain to him what was going on, quickly lost interest. Jace looked absolutely horrified, but not because he was embarassed.

"Okay," he said slowly, "who are you and what have you done to my brother?"

"Huh?" Alec asked, rather dumbly, which only made Izzy laugh harder.

"You know, my brother Alec," Jace said, waving his hands, "Tall, black hair, blue eyes, pale, a bit awkward, a book nerd, stick-in-the-mud...that one."

Wondering whether Jace had completely lost his mind, Alec replied, "I am sitting face to face with you."

"No way," Jace shook his head, "you can't be the same person. Exhibit a: you locked yourself in your room. Exhibit b: you are, for once, not scowling, but actually _smiling_. You're Alec. You're supposed to be, I don't know, scolding me for talking with food in my mouth, not be happy for no apparent reason. Exhibit c: you just made a joke. So either you're an imposter or the world is ending."

Alec blinked. "I think this was the single most stupid chain of arguments I have ever heard. And that's saying a lot, considering that I have lived with you and Isabelle for years."

"See?" Jace exclaimed. "You're doing it again!"

Isabelle snickered. "Oh, leave him alone, Jace. That's what happens to people when they are in love. They start acting all strange, and really, _you_ have no room to talk here at all with the way you behaved since you met Clary..."

"Oh, right. I completely forgot about his date yesterday, too."

"I am _not_ in love," Alec contradicted firmly. "I didn't have a date, either. I don't know where you two get this ludicrous idea from. And you are avoiding my question, Iz" he added, trying to get the attention off him again as soon as possible.

For the first time, Clary spoke up, answering his question in Isabelle's place. "He's got band practice," she said calmly," but he told me he'd come here later to see Iz."

Jace scowled. "You knew about this?"

The girl rolled her eyes. "My best friend is dating my boyfriend's sister. Of course I knew about this. Not everyone is as unperceptive as you, you know."

"Are you sure he's not just scared of what Jace and I might do now that we know?"

Isabelle glared. "I can very well protect my boyfriend from my two fatuitous brothers, thank you very much. Leave him alone or I will do horrible, horrible things to you. You can't even imagine the pain you will be suffering."

"Duly noted."

"Speaking of Simon and the band," Clary interjected, "their band is playing in a little club Tuesday afternoon. It's like a rock themed day-slash-party, and there will be a bunch of bands playing throughout the day. Are you in?"

"Sorry," Alec said, "no time."

Three pairs of eyes stared at him incredulously.

"What?" he asked irritably.

"Dude," said Jace, "I don't think I ever heard that sentence come out of your mouth. You never make plans without us."

"Of course I do. And I made plans to be in the library Tuesday afternoon."

"You can go there every day of the week," Isabelle pointed out, "unless, of course, you are to meet someone there...?"

"As a matter of fact," Alec bit out, annoyed, "I am. Jace, shut your mouth, you'll catch flies. And would you please stop acting like this was something inconceivable and unusual that I never do?"

"But it _is_ something you never do," Jace countered as soon as he had recovered from the shock. "Okay, now I am curious, and if you don't answer my question, I will kill you. Whom are you meeting, exactly? Any hot girl I know? Wait – you don't actually want to see Abigail again, do you?"

Alec rolled his eyes. "Don't be absurd. And no, I am not dating a 'hot girl you know'. I'm merely meeting up with Magnus."

"Magnus?" Isabelle repeated. "Magnus as in Magnus Bane?"

"I doubt that even in New York there are several people with that first name in the phone book," Alec pointed out dryly. "I didn't know you knew him, though."

His sister shrugged. "I wouldn't say know is the right term – I only met him last night. But, you know, he's hard to miss," she said, and Alec had to agree with her. With the way he dressed, the amount of glitter and make-up he put on and the way he carried himself – with an air of self-confidence and superiority – it was hard not to look at him or forget him.

Jace whistled. "I'm impressed. I knew you could do better than that wrinkled hag."

"Oh shut up, Jace. It's _not_ a date. And he's got a girlfriend, just in case you were wondering."

"Really?" Izzy asked. "I was absolutely convinced he was about as straight as a circle."

"Yes, really."

"Whatever you say, bro." Jace grinned in a way that suggested he didn't believe a word he said.

Alec threw his fork at him, and that was that.

 

.

 

_Hello ;)_

_While I might still not be entirely sure about this, I daresay your letter fulfilled its purpose of reassuring me and giving me enough information to make me want to continue our 'conversation', or however you'd liked to call it. I still wish I had a name to address you with, but I suppose there is no chance of you telling me your name, is there?_

_I am very sorry to hear your parents are deceased – and I feel somewhat stupid having written this, because I know these words won't bring you any comfort – they never do, especially when they come from a stranger who doesn't know your family. To you, they must sound like an empty phrase, one that everyone uses, just to say something. But I mean them. Of course I didn't know your parents, and I don't know you, either, but even so it makes me sad to think what you must have gone through. I imagine that growing up without a family must be very hard, and I really wish this hadn't happened to you._

_You asked about my family, and you don't have to worry about me not being comfortable with this topic. I am perfectly comfortable talking about them (although I can't promise that what I tell you will be interesting for you at all)._

_My family is my everything, and I am not embarrassed to admit that. When I say 'my family', I mostly refer to my siblings, though. We spend all of our time together, and I'm usually the one who watches over them, which is often a pain, really, because they are irresponsible as hell and always get themselves into trouble. I wouldn't want to miss them, though, so I guess I shouldn't be complaining._

_My parents are great, but we hardly ever see them. They are businessmen who jet around the world, and even when they are home, they are always very busy. I've never seen workaholics like them. My youngest brother is probably the one who suffers from that the most, but they try to make up for that by taking him with them as often as possible, whenever he has got holidays or can afford to miss a few days of school. Sometimes I think that my mother misses having her children around, but that's hard to tell. She isn't a person to express her feelings openly (I think the only time I remember her acting like a 'real' mother was when I was younger and she sang French lullabies to me and my sister when there was a storm outside and we couldn't sleep), but I think she'd do everything to protect her family. My father is the same, although he is a lot quieter and only speaks when he thinks it is absolutely necessary. A lot of people say that he looks very intimidating, but in the end, I think it's my mother they have to watch out for._

_In total, I have three younger siblings. Isabelle and Max, who are actually my brother and sister, and Jace, whom my parents adopted when he was ten years old. As far as I know, they were friends with his parents and, when they died, decided to take him in (back then, I was only eleven and didn't pay too much attention to the reasons, and now it's just not something we talk about – Jace is my brother, and that's it. None of us really think about him as the adopted kid anymore, he's just a very important part of our family). It's hard to talk about him, though. Jace is...Jace. Really, you'd have to see him yourself to understand that. He's intelligent, sarcastic (to the point of being cynical), charming, arrogant, conceited and cocky, he twists every female around his finger with ease, gets into trouble on a daily basis and he annoys the shit out of me most of the time with his perpetual teasing. But he always watches my back, and he's my best friend. Also, it's become easier to endure him since he started dating his current girlfriend, which is nice for a change._

_Isabelle is two years younger than I am and I suppose we'd treat her as our princess if she wasn't so badass. That probably comes from growing up as the only girl in the family – being around me and Jace must have made her feel the need to toughen up and be a rebel. She has quite the temper and is prone to hissy fits when she is angry, but she is also a very warm-hearted person. She tries to be our surrogate mother (which wouldn't be half as bad if she stopped her attempts to cook something edible – not even our cat, Church, dares to eat the stuff she produces) while trying to be the number one heartthrob of New York (and I think she only competes with Jace in that category, so she has good chances of winning). Jace is my best friend, but Izzy is my most intimate confidant (not necessarily because I tell her everything, but she has that weird women's intuition thing going on and seems to know me better than I know myself)._

_Then there is Max, my youngest brother. He is only nine, so I often feel like he's kind of left out of everything we do, which always makes me feel a little guilty. If you ever met him, I'm sure you would agree that he is the sweetest kid you have ever met. He is, like me, a complete book nerd already, and you will usually find him curled up in a corner and reading some comic or manga. Or, if he's not reading, he'll be asleep. I swear, he can sleep through just about anything. He is also very curious and interested in_ _ everything _ _. One day, I'm sure, he'll either be a writer or a celebrated scientist of some sort._

_Wow. By now you have probably fallen asleep over my ramblings about my family. Sorry if I bored you. It's just that once I get started, it's hard to stop talking about them. With a family like mine, there is_ _ always _ _something going on. I know a lot of people would say that my life is boring, seeing as it mostly consists of school, my visiting the library and my family, but really, I sometimes rather wish my life (read: my family) would be more boring._

_I'll be looking forward to your next letter._

_Bye,_

_Alec._

_  
_

_._

_  
_

Once Alec had completed the letter and deemed it adequate, he carefully sealed it in an envelope and put it into his bag. Maybe he would manage to deposit it on Monday after school, but part of him doubted that. Mondays were always busy, and he'd promised Max to drive him to his karate practice in the afternoon. Plus, if he went to the library _again_ and his siblings got wind of that, they would definitely suspect something and he'd never hear the end of it. Therefore, he would probably have to wait until Tuesday. He didn't really like the thought of taking so long, which meant that he would also receive the next letter later, but alas, he'd have to deal with it. And perhaps that would be a good way to get some control over his totally unreasonable and unasked-for euphoria.

He glanced at his watch. It was still early in the evening, so he had a little more time before he had to put Max to bed. Offhandedly, he decided to put the time to good use and do some research. He booted up the computer and started the Internet Explorer. His Google search for 'Islands East River' linked him – as always – to Wikipedia first – not that he minded, it was usually good to get a nice overview. Luckily, the entry on the East River also listed all the islands, and really, from there on it was easy. Roosevelt Island was the only one to fit into the category; Alec was almost a hundred percent positive that he was talking about the Renwick's Smallpox Hospital which had lain in ruins for years and were now accessible again.

So far so good. That was the easy part. He had still no idea how he should find one tiny piece of paper within these ruins. He had checked the flipside of the latest letter three times by now, but hadn't succeeded in finding any additional information. Alec sighed. He'd probably better allow some extra time for his search.

There was a knock on the door – oh wonders! Apparently the locking thing had fulfilled its purpose, at least until Jace forgot about it again – and Jace poked his head in. "Yo," he said casually, "can I come in? I won't take long, promise."

Alec quickly closed the websites he was looking at and turned around. "Sure."

Jace strolled in, his hands buried in the pockets of his jeans. Somehow he didn't look quite as relaxed as he usually did, though, which made some alarm bells in Alec's head ring. What could Jace possibly have to say that would make him uncomfortable? This was _Jace._ He didn't give a flying fuck whether he broke the most expensive Chinese vase in the front hall that had been worth several thousand dollars. This couldn't be good.

"So," Jace began, leaning back against the now closed door, "You know I was only teasing you about Magnus during lunch, right?"

Alec blinked, surprised. "Of course. Why? It's not like you need to apologize for anything."

"I know. It's just," Jace paused, seemingly unsure how to continue. "Okay, screw this. Look, I know you're going to deny this anyway, and I guess it doesn't matter, and maybe I'm wrong, but I just wanted you to know that, if it were true – if you were dating another guy or having the hots for Magnus or whatever, I mean – I wouldn't mind at all. I don't care. You're still my brother, in case you are worrying about that. Okay?"

Alec could only stare at him in shock, rendered speechless. Jace _knew_?

"So," Jace continued, "that's what I wanted to say. Um – I'll spare you my heartfelt love confessions and brotherly lovey-doveyness, that would just be awkward for both of us, and I'd ruin my reputation of being a tough guy. And my playstation in waiting for me." Jace cracked a smile, a surprisingly wide and genuine one, and disappeared, slamming the door shut behind him.

Alec stared at the spot where his brother had been standing for several minutes until his mind had processed what had just happened. This was easily one of the most bizarre moments of his and Jace's relationship – and, seeing as this was _Jace_ that was saying a lot – and while a part of him was freaking out about the fact that Jace seemed to know about his homosexuality and had just told him so directly, he mostly just felt relieved. He had always feared that his brother might not be okay with him being gay, but apparently, these apprehensions had been unfounded. Jace's approval meant more to him than he liked to admit. Also, although he knew they would have to talk about that later and this conversation might be a little awkward, at least he had escaped the mortifying 'coming out' talk.

Suddenly, Alec felt elated.

Life had never been that good.

 


	7. #185 Seek and find

Just like Alec had suspected, the Monday was filled with school, homework, playing chauffeur for Max and a lot of other things that kept him occupied and quashing any chance of visiting the library. Thankfully, the stress also made the day seem to pass more quickly, and before Alec knew it, it was Tuesday.

He had no idea when Magnus would show up, as he realised belatedly – they hadn't agreed on any specific time, after all – so he decided to just go there directly after school and wait for him there. After all, it wasn't like he minded spending his day at the library, and he'd prefer it to going to the concert of Simon's band any day, that much was for sure. They were okay, he guessed, but they weren't exactly music geniuses. Also, it was ridiculous how they kept renaming the band just because they couldn't agree on a good name. It didn't really help to increase their popularity, either – sometimes Alec suspected not even the band members were able to keep up with the changes happening on a nigh daily basis and were confused about what they were named at the moment.

No, meeting Magnus was definitely preferable. He was actually pretty excited about seeing the tall, sparkly boy again. Talking to him was nice, although Alec felt somewhat klutzy, gawky and inferior in his presence, mostly because he always failed to come up with something funny and intelligent to say when he was around Magnus, and he felt like that were the kind of things one should say when being with someone as funny and intelligent like Magnus.

There was no denying that he actually _liked_ being around Magnus, even though he'd only talked to him twice. That was probably because being around him was easy for him, and made him feel comfortable. Usually he was shy and awkward when talking to strangers – well, he guessed he was still awkward even around Magnus, but at least he wasn't reluctant to talk to him – but he didn't have any inhibitions with Magnus.

Alec still had no idea why the teenager would want to meet up with him, though – it wasn't like Alec was any interesting, after all. The most interesting thing he'd ever done was probably engaging in what he now secretly called 'The Letter Game' with an anonymous person-slash-admirer (he'd found that he preferred that word over the term 'stalker' since it made him feel more confident about getting into this in the first place), and it was not like he could ever tell Magnus about _that_. He'd just think Alec had gone nuts, and well, maybe he had.

Magnus was nowhere to be seen when Alec entered the library, something he was actually glad about. It gave him the time to return the books he'd borrowed the previous week and, as soon as he'd completed that task, he slipped into the Nietzsche aisle as stealthily as possible (which, he supposed, wasn't stealthy at all) to hide his letter between the pages, frowning at the title again and hoping that there would be no one suddenly deciding to read that book. He _really_ didn't want the letter to fall into the wrong hands; that would be embarrassing as hell. Alec looked up and down the aisle once, just to make sure no one had seen him and then ambled towards a sitting area from which he could keep an eye on the entrance, a copy of "The Secret Garden" in his hands. He'd read that one multiple times, too (and owned a copy as well), so he figured it would be a nice pastime while waiting for Magnus, but nothing he would lament being interrupted while reading.

In the end, he only had to wait about half an hour. Alec had gotten more immersed in the book than he'd planned and only noticed Magnus was standing in front of him when the shadow of his towering figure fell onto the pages. He looked up to be met with a familiar grin.

"Aw, what a shame, and here I thought I could take you by surprise or scare you or something," Magnus pouted and plopped down next to him. "But no, _just_ when I wanted to poke you, you had to look up."

"I'm not that inattentive," Alec protested.

Magnus snickered. "Oh really? I've been standing here for a minute already."

Alec blushed. "Seriously?"

"Yup," Magnus nodded towards the two cups of coffee standing on the little table in front of them. Alec hadn't even noticed them before. "I wasn't exactly being quiet and sneaky, either."

Unwilling to let himself be embarrassed further, Alec pointedly ignored the comment and opted for merely raising his eyebrows. "How did you get these past the librarians?" he asked. "They are usually extremely strict about the entire 'No drinking and no eating in the library' rule."

Magnus just cocked one eyebrow on response, challenging. "How do _you_ always get it past them?" he asked.

For a moment, Alec was stunned that Magnus even knew he was always taking some hot beverages into the library. They'd only met once, and although he suspected Magnus had been around repeatedly without Alec noticing (he normally would have thought one could not miss Magnus, but apparently, as it had been proven only five minutes ago, he could) he hadn't thought he would have watched him that closely. Alec certainly wouldn't have noticed whether Magnus took brought coffee with him or not, even if he had seen him around. Well. Maybe he just _was_ utterly inattentive, after all.

He shifted uncomfortably. "Well," he began slowly, "I'm here pretty often, so they know I'm very careful to not spill anything over the books."

Magnus grinned. "So I've heard. I don't have the 'I practically live here' bonus, but flirting does the job pretty well, too."

Alec stared. "You _flirted_ with-"

"Well," Magnus cut in, "maybe that's the wrong word. I was trying to be charming, though, and making compliments helps, too. And once I mentioned that one cup was for you, they caved immediately. You seem to be quite popular with the ladies here," he added with a wink.

Alec was glad he hadn't taken a sip yet, because if there had been any coffee in his mouth he surely would have choked on it. "Um..." he said, not knowing what to reply to this at all.

Magnus just laughed quietly. He appeared to be enjoying himself immensely, but luckily ceased the teasing when he noticed Alec's awkwardness. Alec used the pause to bring the paper cup to his lips and cautiously sniffed at it before drinking, surprised to find that it was plain black coffee and not one of those ridiculous compositions that Magnus seemed to enjoy.

"You remembered," he noted.

Magnus snorted. "Wasn't all that hard."

Alec smiled. "I guess not," he admitted.

"So, how was your day so far?" Magnus asked casually, apparently trying to start a decent conversation.

Alec shrugged. "It was okay, I guess. Nothing special, just the usual school stuff. I'll be glad when it is over."

"What do you want to do after you have graduated?"

"I don't know," Alec sighed. "No, actually that's a lie. I know what I _want_ to do, I just don't know whether I'll be able to. I'd like to study literature," he said, ignoring Magnus's chuckle and mumbled ' _figures',_ "but I don't think my parents would be overly excited to hear that. They'd prefer it if I studied business or management or something, just like them. Or at least went to Law School." He grimaced.

"Now that sounds positively boring," Magnus opined. "I can't imagine you'd be happy with that."

"I know. And I know I'll have to tell them soon, but finding a way to break it to them isn't as easy as I hoped for," Alec groaned. "What about you?" he asked curiously. He didn't really know anything about Magnus.

"I study fashion design."

Alec shook his head. "Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"Well..." Magnus looked down at his clothes, and shrugged. "I suppose it's not that hard to guess. Anyway, I'll be the next Yves Saint Laurent, just better – probably with a bit of Vivienne Westwood and Karl Lagerfeld."

Alec could only stare at him confused. "Who?"

Magnus opened his mouth to say something, but, taking a closer look at Alec, seemed to change his reconsider. "Never mind," he said, shaking his head. "You know, with everyone else I'd be sure they were trying to mess with me, but with you I actually believe that you have no clue who they are."

"Why?" Alec asked, still having the distinct feeling that he was missing something important.

Magnus grinned, eyes sparkling with amusement. "Because I get the feeling that you have no fashion sense whatsoever," Magnus pointed out.

Ashamed, Alec looked down at his worn out black sweater. It was true, he had to admit. He had never cared about fashion at all. For him, clothes had to be functional and comfy, and that was it. For the first time, he was regretting not listening harder to what Isabelle said when she was ranting about fashion, but he probably wouldn't have understood a single word anyway. Until now, it had never seemed important. But with Magnus sitting next to him, Alec suddenly wished he knew how to dress a bit more fashionably.

"But that's fine, you know," Magnus continued. "Because you really make that ruffled 'just gotten out of bed' look work. It looks good on you."

Alec blinked. "Um...thanks, I guess."

"Just saying the truth."

"Where are you from?" Alec asked, abruptly changing the topic before he could embarrass himself further.

Magnus took another sip of his coffee. When he put the cup back, Alec noticed that a bit of whipped cream had stuck in the corner of his mouth, and he quickly averted his gaze. "I'm from Brooklyn."

"You don't have a Brooklyn accent," Alec remarked. "It's more like...British, except not really."

Magnus grinned again. "Ah, so you noticed that? I grew up in Indonesia, and then moved to London when I was ten. I only came to America about three years ago. Does that answer your question?"

But Alec wasn't given the time to answer. The older boy just continued talking. "Oh, before I forget it-" he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a neatly folded piece of paper that he handed Alec. "The list of book recommendations. And oh, the effort and thought I put into it: I even typed it on the computer – am I great or am I great?"

"Thank you," Alec smiled. "But you really wouldn't have needed to-"

"Poppycock," Magnus waved it off. "There's really no need to thank me. I actually enjoyed it – and I added some more books, too. I hope you don't mind; I just figured that you'd be done reading them within a week or two anyway. Working off this list will keep you occupied for a little longer, I hope."

"Thank you," Alec repeated. "I'll probably borrow the first ones today."

Magnus flashed him a smile. "Tell me how you liked them, will you? I want to know whether I managed to find something that suited your taste."

"I will."

"Great." Magnus had a look at his watch and grimaced. "I need to get going – there's some work that I have to finish this week, and I haven't even started yet. Do you have your cell phone with you?"

"Um...yes?" Alec said, thrown by the abrupt change of subject, and fished for his phone. Then he handed it to Magnus, who quickly pressed some buttons.

"Here," he said when he held it out to Alec again, "call me or text me when you've finished the first book. Or even before that. We should definitely meet up again soon."

Alec nodded. "Okay."

"Great. Don't forget it. I don't want to have lie in the wait and ambush you in the library." Magnus flashed him another bright smile. "See you around."

As he watched Magnus walk away, although it was unreasonable, he couldn't help but wish he would see him again _very_ soon.

 

* * *

 

The following day, Alec took the subway to Roosevelt Island. He had texted Isabelle, saying that he had to work on a Science project in the afternoon and that he'd be late, not trusting his voice to not betray the lie. Well, she probably wouldn't believe the text anyway, but he could deal with that later. Right now, he didn't feel like explaining what he was up to.

Arriving at the Renwick Smallpox Hospital, he was glad to see that there weren't many people around, which would make his search easier, he assumed. A couple of tourists stepped off the bus with him, but the building was large, so they should be easy to avoid. He shouldered his bag and stepped inside.

The hospital looked different from most pictures he had seen on the internet, he noticed with a bit of disappointment. It seemed that during the renovation, most of the ivy covering the walls and the scrub surrounding it had been cut back, destroying a lot of its former charm. It looked less like an enchanted castle now, and colder. Still, there was something strangely intimidating and yet alluring about this place and for a moment, he forgot why he had come here while he strolled through the rooms, getting lost in the attraction of this place.

He could understand why the sender liked to come here; you didn't find places like that in the centre of New York. This place, albeit a bit spooky in some corners, was quiet and peaceful and possessed its very own type of beauty. There was no honking of cars, no smog, no nothing, just the sound of his footsteps on the ground, the wind rustling the leaves of the trees outside, and some birds singing. It was hard to believe that he was still in one of the biggest cities in the world – here, he could have easily come to believe he was in the middle of nowhere. Manhattan seemed very far away.

Finally, Alec reached the farthest end of the hospital, where things weren't as cleaned up. He entered a half-destroyed room without a roof and some toppled down walls. A small tree was growing in the middle of a pile of stones and ivy and earth was covering great parts of the room. The sunlight was streaming through the paneless window, flooding the room with golden light. Alec stopped to have a closer look. This seemed to be a place where the sender might hide a letter – provided, of course, that his assumptions were correct and he was in the right building on the right island.

He tried to search systematically, checking the outer walls first before moving on to the centre of the room and, lastly, to the pile of stones. Walking around it slowly, Alec's eyes skimmed over the rough surfaces, the little holes and cracks. After twenty minutes of this search, when he was already close to giving up and looking for another equally overgrown room, he found what he had been looking for. In a small crevice, half-hidden by the ivy, was a slightly creased but stark white envelope.

Grinning triumphantly, Alec pulled it out. There was no one else around, so he sat down on one of the bigger stones and unfolded the letter to read it at once.

 

.

 

_Hello, dear._

_Again, I can only say how glad it made me to receive your letter. Please don't think you bored me with what you wrote about your family. In fact, it was quite contrary: I found it highly interesting, not only because I now feel as if I knew your family, but also because it told me a lot about you. Finding someone so close to his family and not being uncomfortable admitting it is rare, and while some people might find this 'uncool', I think it makes you even more likeable._

_I appreciated your sympathy and concerns as well, although they were unnecessary – my parents died a long time ago (to be honest, I can hardly remember my mother at all) and I am mostly a happy person. Living alone has its perks, too, and I have never been one to dwell on the past for too long; I prefer to look ahead and be an optimist. Life is too beautiful to drown in your sorrows._

_Now, the place where you have found this letter is one of my favourite spots in New York. It's a great place to think and be inspired or just dream the day away. I love the city and everything you can do there, but whenever I feel like I need a hiatus and some quietness, I go there. When I first moved to New York, I spent day after day walking through the different rooms and exploring everything, like a child in a labyrinth. Maybe it's because it reminds me of a place close to where I used to live when I was younger._

_Do you have special places like that, apart from the library? I do have some more – I am a huge fan of the Lower East Side, for example, and sometimes, when I have some free time, I'll just stroll through the streets. There are others, but since I will lead you to them with the next letters, I won't give that information away now._

_Anyways, I think it's time for some character revelations now. Although I already found out a lot about you from your last letter, I am curious to find out more. Therefore, I want you to tell me whatever you can possibly think of – you are allowed to ask your siblings how they would describe you, too, if that should help you. Put it just where you hid the last one, that is the easiest way. If you do so, I will tell you a lot more about_ _ me _ _in my next letter as well. One thing that I can already tell you already, though – and you should remember it, for it is an important clue as to where to find the next letter. I am a total sucker for high-quality chocolate._

_Also, if you have another look into the envelope, you will find a little treat there, to encourage you. There is a ticket for 'Shakespeare in the Park' for Friday night. Enjoy the play – I have already seen both plays this summer and I loved them, so I am positive that you will be equally enraptured. Now you will probably ask yourself (and me) how I got hold of this ticket when you can usually only get them the day of the performance. Well, let's just say I pulled some strings and someone owed me a favour. I don't want you to think I did anything illegal to obtain it (except if you call convincing the person who had the ticket to give me one illegal, but that would hardly be fair or justified)._

_Unfortunately, it will take until the weekend for you to receive the next letter. Why? Well, firstly, I will be busy for the rest of the week, and secondly, it will take you some time to find the next letter. Not because it is incredibly well-hidden or anything, but because it's time to explore some parts of New York – by foot. I rather suggest you don't make any plans for Saturday – unless, of course, you want to cheat (don't you dare!). I know it's rather cliché and a must for every tourist who comes to Big Apple, but it really is something everyone should have done at least once in their lives. So I want you to walk a long way over the classical route to another quarter. I know most people suggest you walk towards Manhattan to see the Skyline, but for our cause, that would be counterproductive. If you want, take a stroll through Lower East Side beforehand as well; maybe you'll see why I like it so much. However, at the end of the road and the tiring walk, you will most likely be hungry, and the perfect place to indulge in some sweet temptation will be waiting for you there, along with my next letter._

_Yours truly._

_  
_


	8. #144 As the wind kindles the fire

When Alec returned from his trip to Roosevelt Island it was already late. He'd stayed at the ruins a little longer, rereading the letter several times and mostly staring at the theatre ticket in awe. He had always wanted to go to a _Shakespeare in the Park_ performance but had never succeeded in getting any tickets. The plays were extremely popular, especially since the entry was free, and that meant that one usually had to line up early in the morning to get hold of a ticket, which was something he didn't have the time to do. And now he'd get to see _Measure for Measure._

Even now, nearly two hours later, Alec couldn't help but grin every time he thought about it. Jace and Isabelle would probably ask weird questions, but then again, they always did that. And they wouldn't be half as weirded out if he told them he'd go to see a play as they would be if he told them he planned to stay out all Saturday to explore some parts of New York he had never really been to before.

It was easy to guess what the sender was talking about. Walking down Brooklyn Bridge was something every tourist coming to New York was advised to do. Personally, Alec had never seen the appeal of it, but maybe that was just because he had lived in New York all his life and wasn't excited about watching the skyline anymore. Also, it was easily accessible from Lower East Side, so he was absolutely positive that this was what he was supposed to do. He didn't really know what this stroll would tell him about his secret admirer, but he didn't give much thought to it now. At the end of the road, another letter would wait for him, and that would be enough.

Alec made a mental note to remember googling what he could have meant with that chocolate hint as he opened the front door and slipped inside, closing the door behind him as quietly as possible. He didn't want his siblings to notice he had been gone for so long. In fact, he'd rather he didn't encounter them at all on his way to his room, especially not his brother. He had basically avoided Jace ever since their sort-of talk at the weekend, trying to not end up being alone with him. It wasn't because he felt uncomfortable in Jace's presence now that he knew that his brother had been aware of his preferences for a long time, but because he knew this wasn't over yet; they needed to have a _real_ talk about this and not go on pretending this hadn't happened or it didn't matter at all. The thing was, Alec wasn't sure whether he was ready for that kind of talk yet. He was pretty sure Jace was as reluctant to talk about it as he was, but then again, his brother would probably prefer they'd get it over with.

Unfortunately, it turned out that he didn't have a choice in that matter either, thanks to his nonexistent stealth skills. He hadn't even taken two steps towards the stairs when Jace poked out his head from the kitchen.

"Look who has returned," he said, grinning. "And here I thought I wouldn't get to see you today with the way you are loitering around lately. Hungry?"

Alec wanted to decline and make a run for it, but his stomach grumbled loudly at the mention of food. "Yeah."

"Hurry up, then. Hodge made some spaghetti and I feel inclined to eat them all before Isabelle comes down and sees that I dumped her dinner in the trash bin when she wasn't looking and am now feasting on something else."

Alec chuckled at his conspiratorial tone. This was something they had done often when they were younger, secretly deposing of Izzy's food and sneaking down in the middle of the night to raid the fridge because they were too hungry to get through the night without eating. It had always been fun and they had laughed a lot, apart from the times their sister had heard and caught them red-handed. Facing Isabelle's wrath wasn't exactly on their favourite list of things to do.

He followed his brother and gladly accepted the glass of water and plate filled with pasta that was shoved into his hands mere seconds later while contemplating how the hell he should begin this conversation. Before an awkward silence could creep up between them, though, Jace saved him.

"So," he said casually," how was the science project?"

"Huh?" was Alec's not so intelligent response, before he broke out in cold sweat as he realised that this had been his excuse for staying out all afternoon. "Oh, _that_ science project," he said hastily. "Yeah, it was...good."

_Yeah, nice save, dumbass. Smooth._ _ Real _ _smooth._

Jace looked highly amused. "Must be one hell of a science project, then, considering that you look almost elated and usually hate everything even remotely science-related," he stated, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, and shoved another fork full of noodles into his mouth.

Alec suppressed the urge to kick himself.

"So, is he nice?"

"Who?"

"Your science project partner."

Alec groaned, wishing that a hole in the ground would just open up and swallow him. "There is no science project," he admitted.

Jace's grin widened. "I know."

"There is no guy, either."

His brother's face fell, his eyes darkening. "You know, Alec, I really don't get you. Why do you still feel the need to lie to me?"

"I don't, I mean, I'm not – I", Alec stammered. Then he took a deep breath. "How did you know?" he asked quietly. It was a question that had bothered him for several days now, and he longed to get an answer.

"What? That you are gay?"

Alec winced, both at Jace's harsh tone and at the word being uttered loudly. While he had more or less come to terms with being homosexual, openly speaking about it was a different matter altogether. He surreptitiously snuck a glance around to check that no one else had heard. He really didn't want to broadcast his sexuality to the entire staff (which only consisted of Hodge and the charlady that came to clean twice a week, but one could never be too careful).

"I'm not an idiot, Alec," Jace continued, frowning when he saw Alec's discomfort. "And I can put two and two together. You never date girls. You don't even _look_ at them –"

"Of course I look at girls," Alec protested, confused.

"Well, you do, but you don't _look_ look, if you get what I mean. As in, you don't check them out. You never seem to be comfortable with yourself, and you absolutely hate going into locker rooms. To everyone else, you're probably hiding it pretty well, but you're my _brother._ I know you."

"If you've know for so long, why were you always pestering me and trying to make me hook up with girls?" Alec asked.

Jace rolled his eyes. "Because I wanted you to admit it, Goddammit!" he exclaimed. "I thought that one day you'd be too annoyed and just spill it to get me to shut up. I thought that maybe one day you'd be honest with me. But, as it turns out, you're not even honest with me now, although I've already told you I'm completely okay with it," he finished bitterly.

Alec swallowed. "But I am honest with you now."

"Right." Jace's voice oozed with sarcasm and, strangely enough, hurt. It made Alec's heart clench painfully in his chest. He had never thought that keeping secrets from his brother might hurt him, but apparently, this was what he had done. He had assumed that his sexuality would put a strain on their relationship, when in reality it was just his secrecy that had done it.

"Really, Jace. There is no one. Well," Alec amended grudgingly, fighting the colour that was threatening to rise up to his cheeks, "maybe there is someone. But we're not dating. Or anything." Technically, there were even two, but he wouldn't tell Jace that yet. Or were there even two? God, he was confused.

"But you're basically seeing someone?"

Alec thoughts went to Magnus, and then to the person writing the letters. He liked Magnus, but although they had met twice now and had agreed to see each other again, he wasn't 'seeing him' on that sense. As for his secret admirer-slash-stalker, he didn't see him either. "Not technically, no."

"O...kay," Jace blinked slowly. "But there is someone you like."

It sounded more like a question than a statement, so Alec felt compelled to nod. He was beginning to feel like sitting on a Hot Seat, being peppered with questions. Judging by the heat rising to his cheeks, he was blushing like hell right now, too. _Great_.

There was a small silence, and Alec was already hoping that Jace wouldn't bother him any further, but, alas, these hopes were in vain. All of a sudden, his brother blurted out, "Do you like Magnus?"

Alec was startled. For an excruciatingly long moment, he didn't say anything. _Did_ he like Magnus? "Yes," he admitted quietly. "I like him."

Jace smiled. "Thought so," he said, and dedicated himself to his pasta again. Then, as if it was an afterthought, he added, "You should go for it, you know."

Alec sighed. "I already told you: he has a girlfriend."

Jace snorted. "Yeah, and I am the emperor of China."

"Very funny."

"Come on, bro, really. If he has a girlfriend, I'll eat my hat."

"I saw them, okay?" Alec bit out, annoyed. "So would you please shut up?"

Jace looked as if his eyes were going to pop out of their sockets. "Are you sure?"

Alec opened his mouth to speak and then shut it again. Was he sure? Yeah, pretty much. He hadn't seen them kiss or anything, but the endearments and the way he had held her, so intimately and closely...yes, it was pretty obvious, he thought, so he nodded again.

"That sucks, man," his brother said sympathetically.

Alec rolled his eyes. "Geez, thanks. Now I'm feeling better."

"Really?"

"No, but I would if you finally shut up."

Jace shook his head, grinning. "I'll have to get used to you actually being sarcastic. Where did you learn that?"

Alec just gave him a pointed look. It seemed that Jace got the message, because he didn't say anything else while they finished their meal and cleaned up. Only when they trudged up the stairs and Alec stepped aside to enter his room did he speak up again.

"That was kind of fun, talking about your love life," said Jace.

"Yeah." Alec shuddered. "Let's never do it again."

Jace looked extremely relieved. "Agreed."

 

 

.

_Hello._

_First of all, I have to thank you for the 'Shakespeare in the Park' ticket. In fact, I can't even thank you enough. I've always wanted to go there, and I'm convinced that I will enjoy it immensely. Coincidentally, the Central Park is also one of my other favourite spots, apart from the library. It's not nearly as remote and quiet as Renwick's, but it serves its purpose. I once found a pretty reclusive spot near a small pond where hardly anyone walks by, so whenever I want to be alone I go there. The library isn't exactly a private place, after all, and I can never trust my siblings to not disturb me in my room (maybe I should really lock my door more often – it seemed to work wonders the last time I did it. My brother actually knocked, which is a small miracle considering that he has no sense of privacy and politeness at all)._

_This feels really weird, writing an entire letter solely about what I am like. I detest having to talk about myself, really. My sister says that this is caused by my low self-esteem (which is probably at least partly true), but maybe there just wasn't enough narcissism left for me – Izzy and Jace seem to have enough of it. I don't mind not being the centre of attention; actually, I prefer it. Speaking in front of a lot of people or talking to strangers has always made me feel uncomfortable, and I always gladly let my siblings handle these issues (unless, of course, they are about to mess things up royally, which happens more often than I'd like it to). I don't think my parents will ever understand this, seeing as they are businessmen and used to situations like these, but then again, they don't show much understanding for anything beyond their theoretical horizon._

_Since I am so bad at talking about myself, I actually had to ask my siblings about my character traits. Some of them I could have told you, too, others...not really. Basically, this will just be a list of what they said, with my comments added to it whenever I feel the need to clarify something. I don't know how much it will tell you about the real me, but I suppose it's a start. Also, I'm excited about finding out more about you, so I'll just go with it._

_According to my siblings, I am quiet and reclusive (I can agree with that), loyal, protective, caring and somewhat awkward (yes, I guess you could already make that out from my letters). I hate parties and large crowds, so I try to avoid them as much as possible._

_I am also (and I'm just going to quote Jace now, that makes it easier), "a very calm and steady person, but dude, you also have the most spectacular mood swings I've ever seen. Seriously, you throw hissy fits worse than Clary and Izzy put together!" (I think he is exaggerating, but maybe that's just me – Izzy agreed with him, so perhaps there is a grain of truth to it. I should probably add, though, that this only happens when I'm annoyed, and that it's very hard to keep patient when you're constantly around people like my siblings). Izzy also added that this was typical for a Pisces, but I couldn't tell, since I don't believe in that Astrology crap._

_Although I am pretty shy and often try to avoid arguments, I am also very "straightforward and annoyingly literal" and a bit of a perfectionist and (as you already know) somewhat nerdy. I think Jace has no room to talk there, though, since he is almost borderline OCD. Unfortunately, this need to tidy up never stretches beyond the boundaries of his own room, and I am left to clean up after them in the kitchen every time._

_There. That's all I can tell you about myself, I think. I might have forgotten something, but if I did it probably wasn't that important anyway. I'm not a particularly interesting person, I guess. I'm curious about you now, though, and I can hardly wait for Saturday._

_Bye,_

_Alec._

_  
_

_._

 

Later that night, Alec lay on his bed, playing with his cell phone and pondering whether or not he should text Magnus. In a way, he wanted to, but then again, he also knew it was useless, and he really didn't want to bother him. But Magnus _had_ told him to call or text, hadn't he?

Sighing, Alec flipped the cell phone open and typed in a message.

_I finished the first book._

He didn't have to wait long for the reply. Only half a minute later, his phone buzzed.

_You're fast. Which one did you read?_

Alec could almost picture the grin on Magnus's face. _The Book Thief. I decided to work through the list top down._

_Nice choice. Did you like it?_

Alec stared at the text message a few seconds, biting his lip. Then he inhaled deeply and decided o gather up his courage. It wasn't half as hard, being straightforward, when you were only texting and not facing Magnus. _I thought you said we should do that face to face?_

Again, the answer was immediate. _Good point. Monday afternoon? At six?_

Alec couldn't help but grin. _Sounds good. Where? The library?_

This time, the reply took a little longer. He was already becoming nervous, thinking that maybe Magnus would rethink his decision, when his phone finally beeped again.

_No. Come to my place. 19 Cranberry Street, Brooklyn Heights._

Alec blinked, unsure whether he was hallucinating or not. He checked his phone again, but the text was still there, the black letters standing out against the white background. It seemed that this was real.

"Oh, shut up, Alec," he muttered to himself. "No need to get your hopes up. He's just inviting you over as a friend. He's got Camille, remember?"

His phone buzzed again.

_Alec?_

He bit his lips again, and typed: _I'll be there._


	9. #61 Smouldering heart

Thursday went by slowly, the hours dragging out as chewing gum, just like it always is when you are desperately waiting for something. Friday morning was equally boring and tiring, but at least Alec managed to distract himself a little and not constantly think about both Magnus and his secret admirer.

It was downright ridiculous, he thought, considering that he had known both for only about a week, but he found it increasingly hard to not think about at least one of them. His mind was constantly filled with either recalling Magnus's face and smile and inwardly freaking out about meeting him on Monday, or wondering who could have possibly sent the letters and being excited about finally receiving the next one and finding out more about this person.

It was confusing, really, because it wasn't like him at all. He just didn't fantasize about being with other guys. He hadn't done that since he had gotten over his crush on Jace, and he had never done it before that. And yet here he was, pining for a boy he had only just met and who was not only totally out of his league but also straight and very much taken _and_ at the same time romanticising a person he had never really met at all and feeling rather like a teenage girl developing a crush on a fictional character or something.

Was it even possible to have a more-or-less crush on two people at the same time?

At some point, just when he felt as if his head was going to explode from thinking too much, he groaned and decided to chalk it all up to hormonal overload and that it would be the best course of action to just wait and see how things simmered. Maybe Jace had been right and this was all caused by him being a hormonal and sexually deprived eighteen-year-old boy and none of this would have happened if he'd gotten laid recently.

Finally, it was Friday evening, and after convincing his siblings that no, he was not going on a date and yes, he could look after himself, he went to Central Park. He was there relatively early, and yet the place already swarmed with people. Still, he managed to push past some of them and get hold of a good seat in one of the front rows from where he could hear and see everything perfectly. The play itself was gigantic, and one of the best productions he had ever seen. There was really nothing else that could be said about it, except that he was thoroughly thrilled and flashed and was determined to queue up to get a ticket for _All's Well That Ends Well_ , too.

And then, all of a sudden, it was Saturday. Alec got up early, had a quick shower and then went downstairs as quietly as possible, making sure he didn't wake up his siblings – not only would they be incredibly pissed if he disrupted their beauty sleep at seven in the morning, but it was also part of his plan of saving himself the nagging questions that were bound to arise and the mortification that came with them.

It had been bad enough to ask them how they would describe him two days prior: both Jace and Isabelle had looked at him as if he'd just sprouted another pair of arms. Naturally, they had been absolutely determined to find out what he needed that information for, and had been pestering him for almost half an hour before his nerves had been so utterly on the edge that he had snapped at them to either shut the fuck up or answer his goddamn question. Only then had they finally come out with some useful information, but of course this little episode had only succeeded in making them more curious and suspicious.

Downstairs, he took a post-it note and stuck it to the fridge where they couldn't help but notice it. His message was short and vague, just stating " _Will be out today. Don't know when I'll be back. Leftover from yesterday is in the fridge. Call me if something urgent comes up"._ He knew what they would assume now, and only hoped that Jace and Izzy would not be home upon his returning. He thought he'd heard his sister muttering something about going to see Simon the day before, and there was always a big chance of Jace hanging out at Clary's, so if he got lucky he would be able to avoid their questions for one more day and in the meantime manage to come up with a reasonable excuse for staying out of the house the entire day.

He doubted it, though.

Alec tiptoed down the corridor, slid out of the front door and took the shortest route to Lower East Side. He had decided to not walk all the way, which might have taken him several hours, but he would take a stroll through the quarter in the southeast of Manhattan, and take his time doing so. It was a nice and sunny day, too; all in all, the conditions for a perfect day couldn't have been better.

Upon making his way through the relatively narrow streets of Lower East Side and exploring hidden corners, Alec couldn't help but understand the appeal of this place. There were a lot of people in the streets, but although it was a bit crowded, there seemed to be hardly any hectic rush as it was common in the centre of New York. The atmosphere was relaxed and cosy, somehow, if a bit chaotic and unorganised at times, as it seemed. There were a lot of artists showing off their work, and laughter resounded through the streets. The splashes of colour everywhere seemed a bit weird to his eyes at first, but later he had to admit that he kind of liked it. And it was fitting for this somewhat alternative, left-of-centre type of quarter.

For a moment, Alec thought that Magnus would probably have liked Lower East Side as well, particularly the brightness and the amounts of colours and little shops and cafés. This entire site reminded him of the older boy. It would be nice, he guessed, if Magnus was here with him right now.

Alec stopped for long enough to wonder where _that_ thought had come from and then shook his head resolutely. He wasn't here to think about Magnus, he was here to find out more about the person sending these letters.

A little later, he reached Brooklyn Bridge. There were more tourists around here, mostly coming towards him. That was understandable – he didn't really know why walking down Brooklyn Bridge was such a must-do for tourists, but it didn't surprise him that most people were walking towards Manhattan to take a good look at the skyline and, well, get away from Brooklyn. He'd never liked Brooklyn.

Well. Maybe he'd have to revise his opinion now.

As he strolled down the bridge, taking in the sun and examining the panorama, Alec began to wonder what this walk had to do with his secret admirer. Yes, he could understand what the tour through Lower East Side had told him about the person – or at least, he could now assume that if he liked this quarter that much, he probably enjoyed the laid back atmosphere and the colour gamut. Maybe he was even an artistic, creative person – after all, it _was_ said that this district was a meeting point for artists. Or maybe he was just reading too much into it.

However, this walk to Brooklyn – what was that supposed to tell him? Was the sole purpose of this walk for him to end up at that popular chocolate store that, as he had found out thanks to Google, was located near the bridge? What was the name again... _Jacques Torres Chocolate?_ And that brought him to the next question; what the hell was he supposed to do there? How would he find a letter in a chocolate store? Or would he have to search outside again?

Alec was so lost in his thoughts that he nearly didn't notice he had reached the end of the bridge. He pulled out the pieces of paper on which he had scribbled down the directions and tried to decipher them, cursing himself for his messy handwriting and wishing he hadn't written everything down in such a hurry. Finally, he managed to decipher the first few sentences, and, as it turned out, there was no need for the others anyway. As soon as he neared the store, the air smelled faintly of chocolate, a rich, dark flavour that made his mouth water, and he heard his stomach grumble in anticipation. He hadn't really had any breakfast this morning, and after this hour long walk Alec felt rather hungry.

He quickly checked the area in front of the store for any obvious signs of the letter, and, when finding none (which wasn't all that surprising), decided that he should first treat himself to some chocolate or he'd go mental. He first took a glimpse at the parts of the factory that could be seen through the windows from the street and then entered and took a good look around. It seemed he had gotten lucky – there were only few people inside, examining the products in the shelves lines up on the wall or sitting on the small tables and chatting away. Just like in Lower East Side, everything seemed to be cosy and unhurried.

Yeah, the sender was definitely not a business person rushing from one place to another.

Alec slid into one of the chairs in a relatively hidden corner from where he could observe both the entire store and the street outside, and was catered to almost immediately. The waiter was a young man, not much older than him, and greeted him with a bright, somewhat oafish smile. Alec gave him a scrutinizing look, but upon further inspection decided that he had definitely never seen him before. Immediately, he felt kind of stupid and paranoid again – had he really thought the sender would tell him to come here to clandestinely speak to him when Alec didn't know who he was talking to? – but then again, one could never be too careful, right?

"Good morning," the boy greeted him cheerily, speaking in a broad Australian accent, "what can I bring you?"

"Um," Alec hesitated. He didn't even really know what they served here.

"A cup of our special hot chocolate, maybe?"

Alec managed a smile. "Yeah, that would be nice. And some cookies, if you have some."

The boy grinned again. "Right away."

Not even two minutes later, he sat down a steaming cup of dark hot chocolate and a plate with some chocolate chip cookies down in front of Alec. Alec thanked him, but the waiter didn't turn away.

"Excuse me, but are you Alec?" he asked.

Alec stared. This couldn't be happening.

"Um...yes," he said weakly. There was no point denying it, after all. He'd know he was lying.

"Oh, good." The boy didn't seem to sense his discomfort. "I was told you'd probably come here some time today."

Alec frowned. Now what was that supposed to mean?

"Here," the boy held out an envelope to him. Alec took it numbly. "I was asked to give you this."

Alec felt his jaw drop. "By whom?"

"Sorry, mate," the waiter said apologetically, "I promised not to tell you. Don't know why this is so important, but who am I to ask questions?" He shrugged and left to take care of the other customers.

Alec shook his head in disbelief and took a gulp of his hot beverage. It helped a little to recover from the shock (and it was actually really delicious), but not much. He had expected a lot of things, but not to be presented with the letter in the first place. At least he was now absolutely sure the waiter was not the one who had sent the letters – or maybe he was just a very good actor, but Alec doubted that. If he was, he would probably be sneaking glances at him occasionally, but as soon as he had gone back to work he pretty much ignored Alec.

Sighing, Alec decided that this place was as good as any other to read the letter, and so he opened the envelope and was greeted with the familiar sight of parchment-like paper and a neat, elegant script.

 

.

 

_Hello, dear._

_I know you might be surprised to receive the letter this way, but not only am I feeling generous today, but I also figured that after a long walk and a day of exploring New York, you deserved to be spared the struggles of searching for it in remote corners. Don't mind Jamie – he's a nice guy, mostly, and if you're holding this letter in your hands it means he did what I asked him to do. So sit back, enjoy the delicious chocolate and find out something about me. I'm not half as averse to talking about myself as you are, nor am I uncomfortable speaking to strangers, so this will probably turn out to be quite long – I hope you brought a lot of time with you ;)_

_As you could have guessed from the places I led you to until now, I also like the quiet – but at the same time I am also a fan of parties. I like meeting new people there and socialising with my friends there. Of course, a lot of parties are boring, but really, you just have to know where to go and what to do, and then you'll have fun._

_A thing we do have in common, though, are the mood swings, I suppose. My friends often call me a little diva and they are probably right. I will say this, though: my cat is a bigger diva than I am (but that's my fault for spoiling him so much, I guess). I don't blame you for losing your temper at times, with these siblings of yours. From what you told me I can tell that they must be a lot to handle and I think it's only normal that one would lose his patience at times._

_I like that you are straightforward. I myself can be pretty blunt if I have to, but since I have to be around people a lot I learned to be a little more subtle when making requests. Usually, I'd prefer to just speak my mind, though. I'm a perfectionist as well, so that is another character trait we have in common. On the other hand, I can also be pretty lazy and am a terrible procrastinator at times. If I do set my mind to something, though, I will pull it through. I'm normally very passionate and dedicated to whatever I do._

_I am also, according to my friends, pretty eccentric (I am inclined to believe them) and very strong-minded and stubborn. I don't particularly like being told what to do, so I suppose it's a good thing I am my own boss (aside, of course, from my cat, who is really wearing the pants in my apartment, so to speak)._

_It's a good thing neither you nor I believe in 'that Astrology crap', I daresay. While some parts of it are surprisingly accurate (I am, as it seems, a very typical Leo) most of it is just stupid. And I'm not just saying this because according to astrologers Leos and Pisces don't fit together at all. I also hope it doesn't scare you off that we are, for the most parts, pretty much complete opposites. I know people say that birds of a feather will flock together, but really, I have always been more of a 'opposites attract' supporter. It makes things more interesting, in my humble opinion._

_I could go on talking about myself, but in the end, one can never really get to know a person just from what they tell you. The best way is always just to meet the person personally. But no, we aren't quite at that stage yet, in case you were wondering._

_But I must fly now – in your next letter, I want you to tell me your most wonderful childhood memories, as well as the worst. You will find the directions where to find_ _ my _ _next letter in the library as well, at the usual spot, as I don't have the time to write it all down now._

_Yours truly._

_  
_

_._

 

Of course he did _not_ manage to avoid Jace and Isabelle when he came home – that was just his rotten luck. But Simon and Clary were there, and for once they seemed to have enough common sense to not blurt out anything embarrassing in front of their respective partners. They just exchanged a long look and grinned knowingly. It made Alec dread the moment he was left alone with them. Maybe he should hide inside his room during the evening and all of Sunday.

"How was your day?" Izzy asked casually, but the leer on her face was saying everything. Oh dear.

"It was nice so far," Alec said curtly, sending her a warning glare that said 'and if you don't leave me alone I will strange you'. "Oh, Jace, before I forget it, can you pick up Max from training Monday night?"

Jace blinked. "Sure," he agreed. Then he frowned. "Why can't you do it?"

Knowing that just saying that he would be out would definitely end in a disaster, he decided to tell them the truth. "I'm meeting Magnus at six."

Jace whistled appraisingly.

"Shut up," Alec said.

"I didn't even say anything!" Jace protested.

"No, but you wanted to. Don't."

Isabelle giggled. "Fine, then. Just promise you'll introduce him to us before he has to meet the parents."

"Or warn us before you elope," Jace quipped.

"I'm going to throw a knife at you next time," Alec threatened. "That might only poke one hole into you instead of the three of the fork last week, but I'm sure it'll hurt more."

Jace grinned. "My lips are sealed."

"You were right, Jace," Isabelle snickered. "He must really be sexually frustrated if he reacts so aggressively."

"The threat applied to you, too, Iz."

"Oops."

Alec rolled his eyes. "I'll be upstairs, then."

He was halfway out the room when Izzy called after him: "Hey, if you text Magnus, ask him where he got those designer boots he was wearing at the party!"

Alec slammed the door shut behind him, but her and Jace's laughter could be heard anyway.


	10. #251 All sorts of complicated

Alec spent the biggest part of Sunday in his room, reading another book from Magnus's list, mostly because he wanted to escape his siblings. Mercifully, they seemed to have taken pity on him and refrained from their usual teasing and didn't bug him about his not-really-but-named-as-such-in-lack-of-a-better-word-date with Magnus. Now and then, they would make some hint or grin at him suggestively, but they mostly left him alone, something he was infinitely grateful for. He was also well aware that they would start pestering him with questions the moment he'd walk in after the meeting, but Alec pushed that thought far away. He probably wouldn't have anything interesting to tell, anyway. And even if there was, which was highly unlikely (in fact, in Alec's opinion, the chance was rather nonexistent), he'd keep it to himself. He certainly didn't need a new edition of the "Let's talk about Alec's love life" conversation he'd had with Jace the other day. And Izzy and Jace combined would only exponentiate his mortification.

He had no idea what to expect of his evening with Magnus, anyway. What would they do? What would they even _talk_ about? Alec didn't like to admit it, but no matter how much he liked being in Magnus's presence, he always felt terribly boring and inadequate, as if he never knew the right thing to say. He really didn't understand why Magnus wanted him, someone so insignificant, to come over, when he, being the wonderful, alluring and charming person he was, could hang out with far more interesting people.

Alec groaned. Their meeting would probably be an utter flop. He could already see it: he wouldn't know what to say and Magnus would become tired of having him around and everything would be awkward and Alec would leave early and Magnus would make a point to avoid him for the rest of his life.

Which would suck balls, because although Alec was well aware that Magnus was completely unavailable, particularly for someone like him (wrong gender, wrong character traits, wrong hobbies, wrong everything), he still desperately wanted Magnus to like him. Not that that would make things better. What would he do if they befriended each other and then Magnus found out that Alec was gay and fancied him? Oh yeah, that would be just great.

Maybe he should just stick with his secret admirer. Alex still didn't know a lot about him, but so far, he seemed to be a very nice person. Intriguing. Intelligent. Compatible with him, for the most part. Most importantly, he definitely liked Alec. That would be a good basis for a relationship, wouldn't it? So far, no one had ever had a crush on him, at least not that he knew of. Well, except for Aline in sixth grade, but that didn't count, because she was a girl and he wouldn't have even considered going out with her.

The more Alec thought about it, the more he realised that he was actually interested in getting to know him better. Also, he found that he somehow _liked_ the guy, despite not knowing much about him. It was also increasingly easy to ignore that this entire game was somewhat-romantic-yet-weird and the guy most likely had stalker tendencies.

But yeah, it was still weird.

And he got the feeling that he _really_ liked Magnus.

...and the other boy, too.

Alec groaned, frustrated, buried his head in his pillow and wished someone would hit him on the head to get his overactive brain to shut the fuck up.

Classes on Monday were boring as ever, but for the first time in ages Alec couldn't bring himself to concentrate on his teachers' lectures, which was something new. He always paid attention in class, regardless of how dull they were. Now, with only a few weeks till graduation, he should be extra careful to not miss anything important, but he zoned out repeatedly, his thoughts wandering off to Magnus and the letters and everything else he did not want to think about. The only good thing was that with all the other pupils freaking out about the nearing exams none of the teachers noticed his absentmindedness.

After school he went home long enough to throw his bag into the far corner of his room, scribble down some notes that might or might not pass as completed homework, take a quick shower and change into some fresh clothes before he took off to Brooklyn.

Magnus's place was easy enough to find. Alec usually despised Brooklyn, but his flat was situated in Brooklyn Heights, which was probably the cleanest and nicest part of the quarter. For a second, Alec wondered how a student could afford living in the most popular and expensive area of Brooklyn, but then he dismissed the thought. Firstly, it wasn't really his place to ask questions like that, and secondly, if he decided to move out on a whim, his parents would pay for his flat, too, just to not be bothered by him anymore and salve their guilty conscience that occasionally overcame them whenever they realised they were letting their children down. Maybe it was the same with Magnus. Maybe the house had belonged to the family for a long time.

Or maybe Magnus had flirted with the landlady and convinced her to give him some discount. He could definitely picture him doing that.

Alec jogged up the few stairs to the front door and searched the name plates next to the door bell until he found the one saying _Bane._ He pressed it and waited. Only seconds later, Magnus's voice came out of the intercom.

"...not to touch that. Hello?"

"Um," said Alec. "It's me."

"Hi, Alec. Goddammit, Camille, is this my place or yours?"

Alec felt his stomach drop. He hadn't expected that Camille would be over as well. And he certainly hadn't expected to witness them fighting or anything. He shifted uncomfortably. "Um...if this is a bad time, I could come back some other day or..." he began weakly, trying to fight the feeling of disappointment that crept up inside him.

"Don't be ridiculous, it's not a bad time," Magnus answered, his attention now back to Alec. "Come on up."

There was a buzzing sound and Alec tentatively pushed open the door and walked up the stairs. The stairway was dusty and smelled a little mouldy, and the stairs creaked under his feet as he ascended them. He had almost reached the top of the staircase when a girl with a wave of blond hair swept past him, rushing down the stairs and out of the door, which slammed shut behind her. Alec stared after her for a while, sighing inwardly. This evening started off even worse than he'd imagined and he dreaded that it might not end well, either. He wouldn't be able to blame Magnus for being cranky, though, after fighting with his girlfriend, even if that would ruin his own pleasant night.

Then again, maybe they were breaking up and then...

 _Stop it! Don't even go there, Lightwood,_ Alec scolded himself. _That's not a nice thought. You wouldn't wish him that, would you?_

"Are you going to stand there until I'm covered in cobwebs or will you come in?" Magnus sounded amused, his voice pulling Alec out of his reverie. He turned around to see Magnus leaning against the doorframe casually, a small smile on his face. He didn't look half as upset as Alec had expected him to be. "I swear, this girl will be the death of me," Magnus continued, shaking his head. "I can't believe she stole my Cheetos."

Alec blinked. What?

"And my Oreo cookies on top of that! How am I going to survive without my daily rate of junk food?" Magnus lamented. "It's as if every time that I come home and she's been around, my fridge has been raided. I'm not niggard, but no one has the permission to steal my food, regardless of how long I've known that person."

Alec found himself unable to think of an acceptable response.

"Oh well," Magnus sighed, stepping aside to let Alec in. "At least she didn't take the glitter."

Magnus's loft was quite overwhelming. It was big, Alec supposed, although the real size of the room was probably demagnified by the fact there was stuff _everywhere._ One wall was filled entirely with shelves holding a large number of books, while the other side of the room was flowing over with cloths and textiles and garments and sewing things. It looked a bit like a mix of a library and a studio which had been supposed to be separated once but had flown into each other. A little further in the back, there were some big, comfy looking sofas of quite an alarming shade of pink and a large flat screen TV in front of what looked like a fake fireplace.

It was nothing what Alec had thought it would be like, and yet everything about it screamed _Magnus._

"Sorry," Magnus said from behind him. "I know it's messy. I had intended to tidy up a little, but I pulled a nightshift yesterday to get my shit done and then I just slept through most of the day. Plus, whenever I try to organise things I end up not finding them when I need them the next time. Well, you know what they say. 'Only a fool tidies up, a genius rules over chaos.'"

Alec smiled. "I don't mind it at all. It fits you."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"It was. I like it."

Magnus grinned. "Would you like some coffee?"

"Coffee would be nice, thanks."

"Okay, I'll be back in a sec," Magnus said, gesturing him to sit down. "Make yourself at home." He sashayed through a door into what Alec assumed to be the kitchen and returned not even a minute later with two mugs. "Had a nice day so far?" he inquired as he sat down next to Alec.

Alec sighed. "It was boring."

Magnus chuckled. "Yeah, school tends to be like that. But rejoice, it will be over soon. Have you already told your parents about your plans to study literature?"

Once again, Alec was surprised by how much Magnus remembered of their conversations. He shook his head. "I haven't seen them since."

Magnus raised one eyebrow questioningly, silently urging him to elaborate.

"They aren't around much. And when they aren't on business trips, they work long hours." Alec shrugged helplessly. "I don't even know when I had the last real conversation with them. I think it was when Jace got detention for the third time within two weeks and the principal called them, but I'm not sure."

"And when exactly was that?"

Alec frowned and tried to remember. "A month and a half ago, I think..."

It didn't look as if Magnus liked that answer, but he didn't comment on it. "And what did they want you to do? Play you brother's nanny?"

"Pretty much, yeah. But that's nothing new. I'm used to playing his babysitter. It's just always been like that." He looked at the older boy curiously. "What are your parents like?"

He realised that had been the wrong thing to say the second that Magnus's face froze.

"They're dead," he replied curtly.

Alec had the strangest sense of a déjà-vu; this was the second time in as many weeks that he heard that. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have ask-"

"Don't apologize," Magnus interrupted him and took a deep breath. "It's okay. You couldn't know that. It happened a long time ago, anyway."

Alec examined him more closely. "Do you...want to talk about it?" he asked hesitantly. Magnus certainly didn't look like he _didn't_ want to talk about it. He didn't really look like he wanted to speak about it, either, though. Or maybe Alec was just misinterpreting the signs. That happened to him a lot, as he wasn't always the most apt person when it came to emotional breakdowns and problems and relationships in general.

"Yes. No. Maybe." Magnus sighed. "Yes."

Then he fell silent again, staring into his mug as if it held the answer to all the important questions in the world. Alec waited patiently.

"I was only four when my mother died," he began finally. "I hardly remember her. She killed herself, you know? Hung herself in the barn. I still don't know why. My father said it was because she had depressions, but I think it wasn't only that. He hit her frequently, as far as I know."

"Did he hit you, too?" Alec blurted out. He hadn't meant to interrupt Magnus, but the words had left his mouth too fast for him to stop himself.

Luckily, Magnus didn't seem to be annoyed by his questions. "Sometimes," he said vaguely.

There was a bitter tone in his voice that made Alec think there was more to it than Magnus was telling him. 'Sometimes' probably didn't even begin to cover it. "Sometimes?" Alec parroted.

"Only when he was drunk."

Alec swallowed. "Was he drunk often?"

"Yeah." Magnus shifted on the couch, folding his legs underneath him Indian-style. "He died when I was ten. Car accident. He was completely hammered and lost control over his car. Ended up wound around a tree, basically. I've lived in various foster families since then, until I was old enough to get a place of my own." He continued to stare ahead, not really looking at anything. "I was relieved when the police told me he was dead."

Again, Alec was at a loss for words.

All of a sudden, Magnus let out a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and choked breath. "I can't believe I'm telling you this," he murmured. "Now you probably think I'm an asshole."

"No, not at all," Alec said. "It's perfectly understandable. I would have been glad, too. To be honest...this may sound weird, but...but I _am_ glad he's gone. I'm glad he doesn't have a chance to hurt you anymore."

Magnus's head shot up and he looked straight at Alec for the first time since the beginning of their conversation. Surprise was clear in his eyes, mixed with something else that Alec couldn't quite identify. Relief, maybe, or gratefulness for not being judged. There was no anger for him saying something bad about his father, though, which Alec was glad about. He had already feared to have said something he shouldn't have, but the small, startled smile spreading over Magnus's face told him it was alright.

For a moment, Magnus's smile was completely unguarded, and despite the sadness in his eyes he looked so beautiful that Alec's heart fluttered in his chest. Then Magnus broke the eye contact and the moment was gone.

"I've never told anyone about this," he mumbled.

"No one?" Alec asked, taken aback. "Not even your girlfriend?"

"Excuse me?" Magnus blinked. "Which girlfriend?"

"Do you have several?" Alec replied dryly, convinced that Magnus had just snapped back to his former self and was toying with him. Secretly, he was glad about the change of topic. Seeing Magnus that depressed made him feel uncomfortable, because he didn't know how to comfort him. It was a side of Magnus he hadn't been prepared to see, and he wasn't sure how to react to it.

"What? No. I think I would have noticed that. Whoever are you talking about?"

He looked genuinely confused, so he decided to elaborate. "Camille," Alec clarified. "I thought that was obvious."

Magnus frowned. "She's not my girlfriend."

"She isn't?" Alec asked, bewildered, trying to ignore the small part of his brain that was freaking the fuck out and making his insides do some happy dances. "I thought..." he trailed off, leaving the rest of the sentence unfinished, hoping that Magnus would let it slide.

Unfortunately, Magnus was having none of that. "Why would you think that?" he asked curiously.

Alec cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably on the couch. "I saw you at the party," he explained. "You seemed very close. I just assumed...well. And she was here, so..."

Magnus's smile widened, and the mischievous spark returned to his eyes. "Will you assume that everyone you meet in my flat has a relationship with me?" he chuckled. "If yes, then what does that make us?"

Alec blushed, and managed to choke on his own saliva.

Magnus doubled over with laughter. "You're so easy to tease."

Alec, who had in the meantime regained his breath, just scowled at him, but found that his glare wasn't as intense as he would have wanted it to be. It was impossible to stay angry at Magnus when he was smiling like that.

"Well then," said Magnus, "now that we have established that I do not have a girlfriend but am apparently a polygamist trying to seduce all of my guests and have already discussed a fair share of sob stories, what would you like to do? Are you hungry?"

"Actually, I am. But I don't want to -"

Magnus cut him off quickly. "You really have to stop apologizing or saying that you don't want to be an inconvenience, Alec. It complicates things. Italian?"

In the course of the next three hours, they succeeded in making a total mess out of the kitchen by cooking pasta and trying to bake some cookies with a dough mix they had found in the back of one of the cupboards whose date of expiry dates back several years but still tasted good aside from the ones which were burnt because they had been talking and laughing so hard that they had forgotten to take them out in time. It was very easy talking to Magnus, almost effortless, once Alec had overcome his awkwardness. They talked about books and movies and music and family and countries they wanted to travel to and embarrassing childhood stories and everything in between. Alec thought he hadn't enjoyed himself that much since...well, ever. In fact, he enjoyed himself so much that he forgot about the time entirely, and his mouth dropped open when he took a look at his watch and realised it was almost ten.

"Shit," he cursed. "I have to go."

"I'll walk you out." Magnus got up from his chair. "We should do that again," he said as he opened the door. "I had fun tonight."

"Me, too."

"Text me?"

"I will," Alec stepped out of the door. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Alec skipped down the stairs, unable to suppress the giddy feeling taking over him. Deep inside, he knew it was ridiculous, because even though Magnus was not with Camille that wasn't any indication that he'd have any chance, but he felt great.

When he reached his home, neither Jace nor Izzy could be seen, and he slipped inside as quietly as possible, managing to reach his room without drawing their attention to him. When he got undressed to change into his pyjamas, the letter lying on his desk caught his eye.

He hadn't yet had the chance to bring his next letter to the library, but had intended to do so the following day. But would that even make sense now? Alec bit his lip. Until tonight, he'd felt like he liked both Magnus and the person writing the letters, and had even considered giving his secret admirer a chance. But now...

Alec raked his fingers through his hair. The initial situation and condition hadn't changed much, even now that he knew that Magnus wasn't dating Camille, but something else had. Now that he thought about it, he found that maybe his feelings had changed. Or rather, he'd become more aware of them. He _really_ liked Magnus.

So what should he do now? Accept that he didn't have a chance with Magnus and proceed to write to his secret admirer, hoping that maybe something would happen between them? Or take his chance and try to start something with Magnus, even though he didn't know whether he had any chance at all or whether they'd never be more than friends, even though he was almost completely sure he would fail? Whatever his choice was, he couldn't go on pining for both of them. It simply wouldn't be fair to either of them.

His decision was made surprisingly fast. He took a piece of paper and scribbled down:

 

_I'm sorry, but I don't think I can do this anymore. I met someone I really like, and it wouldn't be fair to you to let you go on hoping that this might turn into something more than it is now, or to just be friends and have you watch while I'm in love with someone else._

_I'm sorry._

_Alec._

_  
_

_._

_  
_

He brought the letter to the library on Tuesday. On Wednesday, he found another letter lying on his doorstep when he wanted to go to school. The letter was short, just two lines in the by now very familiar script.

_Meet me at Long Beach on Saturday._

_Please. Just so that we have met once. I promise I'll leave you alone after that, if you wish to, but I think you have a right to know who I am._

_  
_


	11. #219 Desire, ask, believe, receive

"Alec?"

He whirled around when his sister's voice came from behind him and quickly shoved the note into his pocket. He had been staring at it for a long time, wondering what to do now. When he had written the letter telling his secret admirer to stop contacting him, he had expected to never hear from him again. It would have been perfectly reasonable and understandable, too – if Alec had been in his place, he wouldn't have wanted any further contact. Who would have liked to rub salt into the wound by conversing with the person who had rejected them? Alec still felt like a jackass for doing this anyway, although he knew it was necessary. He had never wanted to hurt they boy who was writing these letters, but now he had been forced to, because there was no way he could go on developing feelings for two persons at the same time. That just wasn't possible. It wasn't fair to either of them.

It had been the easier decision, he supposed, to break off the contact to him than to determine to not meet Magnus again – easier because he had never actually seen this person. Not that he remembered, at least. It had been easier because he still didn't know who this person was. He was a mystery, and while Alec had felt drawn to him, he didn't really know a whole lot about him, even after exchanging these letters. Then again, Magnus was still a mystery to him as well, but he seemed nearer, more tangible. _Realer_. Maybe because he knew that Magnus actually existed, and that he felt comfortable in his presence.

Yes, he had to admit, it had been so much easier to make this decision because his secret admirer didn't have a face, so to speak. He didn't even have a name that Alec could address him with.

But now – what was he going to do now?

What if he decided to go? What would happen then? When he finally stood in front of him, what should he do? He already felt bad about hurting this person now, but how could he stand the look of disappointment that he was sure to find on the other's face? It would surely be an extremely awkward situation, and even if that person turned out to be a freak of some sort, Alec would probably still feel guilty about rejecting him. He wasn't the kind of person going around and telling other people in the face that he didn't want to have anything to do with them. Jace would do that kind of thing, but Alec had always been too polite to do that.

Theoretically, of course, there was also the slim chance of him not wanting to reject that person anymore once he'd met him personally, but frankly, Alec doubted that would happen.

Still. It wasn't a good idea to go. He'd better just stay at home. He had made his decision, and he had chosen Magnus, even with the high risk that there might quite possibly never be anything more than friendship between them.

He didn't need any further turmoil of his feelings. This was all fucked up enough as it was.

But if he didn't go, he'd probably regret that later, too. All this time, he'd been dying to find out who had sent these letters, and now that he had the chance to find out...well, how could he pass up to that opportunity?

Plus, he felt like he kind of owed this person to go there and meet him. He'd put so much effort into this. He'd given him the tickets for the play in Central Park. He deserved to have this one wish granted didn't he?

"Alec?"

He'd almost forgotten Izzy was still there. "Sorry," he apologised quickly. "I was –"

"Daydreaming about Magnus," Iz finished his sentence, leering. "That's alright."

"What? No, I wasn't-"

"Don't worry, Alec," she said, patting him on the back. "I don't blame you, it perfectly understandable. He's very, very hot. And now don't say he isn't, because that would be, like, blasphemy or something. "

Alec raised his eyebrows. "Blasphemy?" he echoed. "That's taking it a little far, isn't it?"

She shrugged. "Whatever. Still, you can't deny that what I said is true."

He guessed it would be better not to answer that question truthfully. Of course he couldn't deny it, but having a discussion with his sister about how good-looking a guy he liked was the last thing he wanted to do right now. Or, you know, _ever._ "What do you want, Iz?" he asked impatiently.

"Mom and Dad said they wanted to take the weekend off. Apparently they're planning to spend some time with us on Saturday. Knowing them, they'll probably want to go to Broadway. You in?"

"I can't," Alec answered, before he even realised he had made his decision. "I will be at Long Beach that day."

God, what was he _thinking?_

Isabelle blinked, her mouth open. "With Magnus?"

Well, it was too late to back out now. If he tried to talk his way out of that again now, say that he changed his mind or something, his sister would only pester him with more questions. And if he didn't say anything, that would only make it _worse._

"No," Alec cleared his throat. "I'm not going there with Magnus." He wished he was, though. That would make everything so much easier.

She stared at him for a few seconds, rendered speechless. "Okay," she said then, slowly. "Do I know him?"

"No, you don't."

Isabelle shook her head. "This is really weird," she concluded. "I've tried to get you to date for ages, and I'd almost given up, thinking that you'd die as a wizened spinster. And now that I've finally gotten you to admit that you like Magnus, you're also meeting another person? I never thought that would happen."

"Me neither." He sighed and buried his head in his hands. "...do you think it's possible to like two persons at the same time?" he asked quietly after a while.

"Sure," she shrugged. "That happens. The problem is that you'll have to choose one day."

"I _know_."

There was a small pause in which Isabelle left Alec to wallow in his misery and frustration. "Well," she said after a while, "since I don't know who we're talking about I can't give you any advice except that I think you and Magnus would make a great couple. You fit together really well."

"With the small obstacle that Magnus is straight." At least that was what he thought. He certainly hadn't denied the possibility of him having a girlfriend on Monday. He had just said 'No, I'm not dating Camille', not 'I'm not dating Camille because I'm not interested in girls'.

Then again, Alec certainly wouldn't have admitted to being gay just like that, even if Magnus had asked him directly.

"Oh please, Alec," she scoffed. "Have you _looked_ at him?"

Well, he thought, she had a point. Of course he didn't have any useful knowledge about fashion at all so he wasn't exactly in a position to judge, but everyone who took a single look at Magnus would have been able to tell that his style was quite...extraordinary. And colourful. Very colourful. And he was wearing make-up, which was something Alec had never seen another boy wear, ever. So either Magnus was completely fulfilling every cliché and stereotype about gays, or he was just toying with everything and everyone. He wouldn't put it past him. Magnus seemed to be the kind of person who didn't take himself too seriously. It was hard to assess.

Isabelle, in the meantime, seemed to have taken his silence as some sort of consensus. "So," she drawled, "I suppose you want me to not tell Jace? And make up some excuse for Mom and Dad?"

"That would be highly desirable."

She shook her head. "You're so weird sometimes," she declared.

"Me? Weird? You're the one who is basically reading my mind!"

"Yeah, well. It's a women's thing." She shrugged. "Anyway, you owe me, you know that, right?"

"Naturally," Alec sighed. "What do you want me to do?"

"I think I'll call for that favour when I really need it. I won't forget it, though, and you'd better not either!"

Alec rolled his eyes. "How could I? I'm sure you won't let me forget but instead remind me of it every five minutes."

"...or maybe I'll just make you spill all the juicy details."

 _Lovely._ He grimaced. "Izzy..."

She laughed. "You really need to loosen up a little, Alec."

"Yeah. Maybe in a couple of years or so."

Isabelle sighed. "You know, it kind of sucks that I have this amazing, gay brother and yet I can't even gossip with him, much less go shopping with him."

"I'll see to it that if I ever end up with Magnus, or anyone, really, they'll match your criteria and make up for what I lack," he replied dryly.

"Good idea. Now, I have to go. I'm meeting Simon at Taki's. Wanna come? Jace and Clary will be there as well."

"Thanks, but no thanks. Especially not since it's a double date. I don't feel like spending the evening watching you and Jace sucking your partner's faces off."

Isabelle grinned. "Just wait and see, soon we'll have triple dates."

"Please kill me now."

Laughing, she hit him on the shoulder playfully and danced out of the door. As he watched her walk away, smiling fondly, two things occurred to him. 1) He had the best siblings in the entire world, and 2) whomever he brought home one day would need fucking nerves of steel to not go insane in this madhouse.

With a sigh, Alec grabbed his bag and headed out as well. His decision to go to Long Beach had been hasty and subconscious and definitely not thought through, and he felt like he needed a little more information, so he went straight to the library and to the one shelf of books he knew perfectly well by now. He had no means of knowing whether or not the sender would find his message or even look for it, but he felt like he should at least try. Going there completely unprepared would only make him feel more uncomfortable.

He ripped off a piece of paper from his college block and scribbled down: _What time? Where exactly? How can I recognize you?_

As it turned out, his note was unnecessary. It was as if the boy had already anticipated his questions. When he grabbed the Nietzsche book, a small piece of paper slipped out from between the pages. It read: _2 pm. Don't worry about finding me - I will find you._

_  
_

.

 

And then it was Saturday.

Alec was feeling a little queasy as he drove up to Long Beach, but that queasiness was mixed with excitement. Even after two days of debating back and forth whether or not he had made the right decision he hadn't succeeded in finding an answer. There was still a part of him that was eager to finally find out who the mysterious sender of the letters was, but there was also a huge part of him that told him it would have been better not to come here.

Luckily, his sister had come up with some elaborate excuse as to why he could not spend the day with his parents (she, too, had used a school project to cover up for him, but much more convincingly than he could have ever done it – still, Jace had nearly doubled over with laughter as he heard it and, unlike their parents, clearly hadn't believed a word she said) and had even managed to get their parents to leave him the car. He supposed they had mostly given in to that because they felt guilty for leaving them alone so often, for they were usually quite reluctant to let any of their children drive. They wouldn't need it while staying in Manhattan anyway; in New York, it was usually faster to take public transport. Knowing his parents, though, he doubted that they'd ever use the subway, but well, that was what cabs were for after all.

He pulled into the parking lot and got out. Sneaking a glance at his watch Alec realised he was a little early and opted to go for a little walk down the beach. Since he didn't know who to look for, nor where exactly he would find the sender it would probably be a good idea anyway to move around a little. Of course, Long Beach was, well, _long_ , and Alec already mentally prepared himself for having to wait at least an hour or so until he ran into the guy. It wouldn't be easy to find anyone here, particularly with all these people around.

Alec slipped off his shoes and socks, turned up his jeans and set off. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been at a beach. The sand felt nice under his bare feet, soft and warm.

He'd been walking up and down a little for about thirty minutes, chiding himself for not bringing his notes to study for the upcoming exams (not that he would have been able to really concentrate on them, but it was the thought that counted, right?) when someone tapped him on the shoulder. "Hello, Alec."

The voice was horribly familiar. It belonged to the person he'd expected to see here the least.

Shit.

Alec turned around and was met with Magnus Bane's habitual smile. There was an edge to it today, though, something that Alec couldn't quite place. It wasn't as carefree and bright as usual, but rather nervous. However, he didn't have time to think about it now.

"Oh, hey Magnus," he said lamely. "I didn't think I'd see you here."

Inside, his feelings were starting a fucking riot. A part of him was freaking out with excitement and joy, because he had wanted to see Magnus again all week. The other part was also freaking out, but not in the good way. That was exactly what he needed, his secret admirer seeing him ogling Magnus and thinking that he'd brought his boyfriend along or something and storming off, hurt. Or, even worse, if he was already around, he might come over and talk to Alec regardless, and then he'd have to explain to Magnus what he was doing here and why, or, God forbid, introduce them to each other. Seriously, though, the two guys he'd sort of developed a crush on meeting was the last thing he wanted. Magnus would think he was a total nutjob if he found out about this.

And maybe he was. In all honesty, Alec started wondering whether he was bipolar. It shouldn't be physically possible to feel panic and excitement at the same time.

Magnus shrugged. Or rather, he fidgeted. How weird. "Well," he said slowly, almost cautiously, "I was waiting here for you."

Wait, _what_?

Alec stared at him, mouth hanging open until he realised he should probably close it. "Did Izzy tell you I was here?" he asked suspiciously.

Magnus blinked. "What? No."

"But then how did you-" Alec cut himself off. If this wasn't some kind of plot of Izzy's to set him up with Magnus then there was only one logical explanation as to why he would know Alec was here. "Wait – you aren't – are you? No, you can't be...that's impossible...right?"

Magnus smiled sheepishly. In fact, it resembled a grimace more than an actual smile as he pulled something from the back pocket of his jeans. Alec recognised the items instantly.

His letters.

Alec opened his mouth to say something, only to find that his mind had gone completely blank. It all clicked into place now. Of course it had been Magnus. He'd met Magnus at the library a few weeks prior, so he would have known how much time Alec spent there. Magnus had been at the party, observing him. He even remembered how he had briefly considered that he might be the person who'd sent these letters but quickly dismissed the thought as absurd, especially after seeing him with Camille. Then Magnus had shown up in front of the office of the _Rolling Stone Magazine_. Back then, Alec had taken it as another sign that he couldn't possibly be the sender of these letters (after all, he had figured that Magnus wouldn't have wanted him to see him and become suspicious), but now he realised that might have been thought through to mislead him. Then, that week when the sender had claimed to be busy...that week had coincided with the week Magnus had told him he had to complete an assignment for university. And everything he said, from the way he wrote to what he actually told him about himself...Alec wondered how he could not have realised this before.

Not to mention that Magnus was the only person he knew who would come up with an idea like that one.

Magnus seemed to misinterpret his silence. "Look," he began hastily, shifting uncomfortably and looking onto the ground. "I know you probably think I'm crazy or...but I promise, I didn't stalk you anything, I was just on my way to Ragnor's when I saw you coming out of your house, that's how I knew you lived there and then I thought...I don't know. It's just, when we talked in the library back then, I really hoped we'd talk again, but you didn't seem very comfortable, and I just thought...I thought maybe it would be easier for us to get to know each other that way."

He was rambling, Alec noticed. It was a curious thing, to see Magnus Bane ramble like that, looking as nervous as Alec had felt before.

"And of course I can understand if you don't want to meet me anymore. I mean, it was pretty freaky. This whole letter thing, that is. And I know you said you liked someone else, and I promised I'd leave you alone, and I will, if you want to, that is, but I thought, well, I just wanted you to know...I should probably better go and-"

"You're an idiot," Alec interrupted him, finally having found his voice, half choking on the words.

Magnus flinched. "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have –"

"No. No, no, no, that's not what I mean." Magnus stared at him wide-eyed, and Alec couldn't help but laugh. This entire situation was simply to absurd to not find it funny. Not only had all his problems (well, most of them, anyway) just evaporated, but it also seemed as if their roles were reserved for once. Usually, Alec was the one who didn't know what to say in Magnus's presence and thinking that he was pining for a person who wasn't interested in him in the slightest. "What I meant was –" he cleared his throat. "I only wrote this note saying we should end this because I met you."

Magnus stared.

The seconds ticked by.

Then: "Oh." He lowered himself onto the sand slowly, and Alec followed him, letting himself fall down next to him. "We are one fucked up couple." Magnus shook his head, grinning now.

"Yeah," Alec agreed. "Wait...we're a couple now?"

"Moving too fast for you, huh?" Magnus chuckled weakly.

"Maybe," Alec admitted. "So, where do we go from here?"

"Well, I guess I _should_ take you on a proper date first. Only if you want to, of course," he added hastily.

Alec looked at him appraisingly. "Do you think you can handle my brother?"

"Jace? Yes, I think so. Why?"

"And take my sister shopping? Tell her the latest gossip and join in on her girls' nights?"

Magnus's eyes sparkled. "I'd love to."

"Great," Alec lay back and stared into the sky. "In that case you fulfil all the qualifications and requirements established by Isabelle. So yes, I guess you are allowed to take me on a date." He cleared his throat again. "Would you...would you mind keeping this a secret for now, though. For a while, at least? My parents don't know yet and I'm not sure if..." He trailed off.

"I'd expected as much." Magnus sounded serious. "Of course I can do that. I can wait."

Alec exhaled, relieved. "Thanks."

Then Magnus lay back as well, close enough for Alec to be able to feel the body heat he emanated but not close enough for them to touch. It felt right in a way nothing had ever felt before. And maybe that was it. Maybe this would be the start of something he had never experienced before. Strangely enough, he wasn't afraid.

They lay like that for a while, not saying anything, just smiling at each other.

Above them, the sky was blue.


End file.
